of death

TV misleads ugly Americans

to the wrong side of every issue

By John Kaminski

The people who steered clear of the poison jab have been telling you deluded TV watchers the same thing for a long time.

You’ve been brainwashed into taking a shot you knew nothing about that will likely kill you, or at least diminish your life in some profoundly damaging way. All those suddenly dead athletes and spontaneously aborted babies tell the tale. The disease was always far less dangerous than the jab and the effective early treatment suppressed by criminal doctors and politicians likely would have prevented you from getting very sick at all.

But you remember now the doctors told you to wait until you got really sick and then go to the hospital. The better to kill you, my dear. Following false medical instructions received on TV has caused many thousands of needless deaths these past two years and likely will cause millions more in the years to come.

You have queered your own fate because you insisted on watching TV and believing the press releases your braindead local newspapers continues to publish, as your unreliable local doctors were strongarmed by their corporate masters into abandoning their Hippocratic oath to ‘First! Do no harm!’, which they willingly converted into “First, Lose no money!”

Sorry, doc, you’ve been busted and should lose not only your license and quite possibly your freedom, but maybe even your life, since that’s the statutory penalty for premeditated murder, which since you recommended your patients wear a mask, get vaccinated, and get put on a ventilator after being given Remdesivir, you have definitely committed.

Let the savory phrase of your hypocritical oath roll off your forked tongue — premeditated murder, a capital offense.RM

TV is deliberately wrong

But that’s just the medical side of the TV betrayal of all Americans.

The situation is virtually the same deal on the political side.

You should have figured it out by now. Joe Biden was hired to destroy America and he’s doing a terrific job. The media have gone to extraordinarily sickening lengths to cover up this obvious fact.

All these clever and insincere TV freaks we’ve had to listen to all our lives who told us to stay upbeat and look on the bright side have been dead wrong. It’s time to realize that our future can now be measured in days, not months or years. Our country has regressed to the point of blowing up the food production plants in preparation for starving us all to death, merely to fulfill Klaus Schwab’s twisted vision of restarting civilization with an ages-old Jewish mass murder plan.

And you want me to sign a petition?!

Do you need to be bashed over the head by a 2×4 to understand what the secret rulers of America and the world are doing to you? Like opening the borders to millions of hungry predators who are going to steal your stuff whether they have to kill you or not. Like emptying your supermarkets and destroying your jobs so that you can lose your home and starve to death in a country demolished by greedy billionaires.

Remember when his handlers told Biden he didn’t have to do a thing during the presidential campaign, he only had to worry about performing AFTER he was elected?

Remember that? How do you supposed they knew? Did you ever hear the clip of Joe Biden saying he was backed by the greatest vote fixing team of all time? Did you think it was a misstatement? Or that he was telling a joke?

Remember all the reports that his pervert son Hunter was collecting bribes from anywhere while raping little girls and smoking crack — and not being hassled by law enforcement because he was the president’s son — the same law enforcement apparatus that harassed President Trump for his entire term that has now been exposed as a fraudulent effort planned and supervised by the blood drinking sore loser Hillary Clinton.

Get it through your thick head! Whether you trust him or not, Trump was harassed for three years for something he didn’t do while Biden actually did all these things without drawing so much as a furtive glance from America’s corrupt law enforcement vigilantes.

This is kind of the same sorry scene from recent history when Lyndon Johnson surreptitiously plotted and executed the murder of his predecessor John F. Kennedy so he wouldn’t get dropped from the ticket in the 1964 election.

As you sow, so shall you reap!

This is a rule the American people sorely need to learn.

Any country that will murder contrived foreign enemies over lies they have created will murder its own citizens to maintain the results of those same lies. That is what has happened to America, and it should be too obvious to all Americans that this is what is happening now.

Except the brain dead third grade retard citizens continue to watch TV and watch their own continuing destruction without ever once realizing what they see happening. It’s all just another episode of a suicidal sitcom in which they themselves are the totally dense principal characters, and not very sympathetic ones, either.

In fact, any impartial outside observers — if there are any — would have to conclude Americans are getting exactly what they deserve for their many decades of intractable idiocy.

Since the phony campaign of mandating the poison inoculation of the American population didn’t achieve sufficient results — too many recipients are still alive! — the destroying of the both the supply lines and the food supply of the American people for the purpose of starving them and reaching Bill Gates’ recommended population reduction goals had to be implemented, which is being done now, especially with the recent bombings of all the food processing plants. How subtle, eh?

And still the American people don’t get it, trapped as they are in mass media fantasies that assure them that all is well if we just start bombing defenseless foreign countries. Gotta keep those weapons production plans working to support America’s extremely gross domestic product, with obscene profits which never quite reach the pockets of the American people. Instead, all the blood-drenched lucre gets totally siphoned off by fast-talking Jewish middlemen who eventually hide in Israel so they can’t be extradited by Jewish judges posing as Americans.

Should the starvation plan fail, all-encompassing nuclear war is ready to be deployed in any one of several locations, as trigger happy American button pushers are perched eagerly on the borders of the extremely huge and vulnerable Russian and Chinese targets. And in the interim Europe will freeze to death as its supply of Russian oil has been vindictively shut off by the American plan to manufacture bioweapons in Ukraine.

In the meantime the continuing torture robbery rape murder of American citizens will continue when the banks shut down, the power goes off, and the politicians keep babbling that this is all about the suppression of blacks who deserve to be absolved of all their self destructive criminal behavior, just as The New York Times and CNN regularly advocate.

Here is your future schedule

Should you still expect to survive this onslaught of treacherous tyranny, I suggest you call your insurance agent, who will tell you that you are no longer covered because you willingly took an experimental vaccine (sorry, not covered), and therefore are ineligible for any benefits. (But one positive note: it used to be if you’ve had the jab you couldn’t donate blood, but now you because the blood supply has become so polluted with poisons, they’ll take anybody’s blood, which is something you should think about if you ever need a transfusion, because you are likely to get a free dose of spike proteins in the process.)

Then you should contact your elected representative, who of course will not be available because he has jetted off to Grand Cayman island with Mitt Romney, Lindsey Graham and other putrescent American politicians to check his tax-free bank accounts and issue statements of confidence in America’s financial future.

At that point, your only remaining recourse will be to consult your local clergyman, who of course will be unavoidably distracted by reinforcing the rituals recommended by the fanatical folks at Disney World teaching the joys of homosexuality to pre teen children so they will never be able to think clearly about anything again except consuming the blood of other terrified children to extend their own meaningless lives toward an endless oblivion of murder and mayhem that has become the new American way, which most TV watchers feverishly believe is highly recommended by the trusted fact checkers at CNN and The New York Times.

Sane people know what must be done. All governments must resign and be prosecuted, found guilty and be executed for their crimes. The alternative is that all governments will execute the people to conceal the crimes they have committed. Thus the outcome depends on the actions of the people. Can you guess which alternative will prevail?

Think you can get all the information you need from television? Just remember, you precocious progressives, that Tucker Carlson’s best friend is Hunter Biden. 

Check your TV listings

Freedom in America (and the world) has been sabotaged by those who own the money which allow them to control the media worldwide. The manipulation started with the movies, moved onto radio reached its nefarious climax with total control and television shaping all the brains in civilizations with contemptuous crap that shrinks everyone’s thought processes into masochistic malignant narcissism.

You will never hear about the real heroes of our time, such as Gonzalo Lira, Simone Gold or Germar Rudolf (just to name three) on mainstream TV. Unfortunately, the mainstream TV disease has spread to the major Internet platforms — Google, Facebook (now Meta), and Twitter so you have to dig a little deeper to unearth authentic uncensored perspectives, starting with Bitchute, Gab and Rumble.

Do not be deflected by the squadrons of web wonders who lure you in with only a portion of the truth only to betray you in the end by failing to pinpoint the true predators, who just happen to own mainstream TV as well as all the governments of the Western world.

Mainstream TV is the messenger of death. If you want to stay alive, intelligently sifting through the info on the Internet — especially about the COVID hoax — gives you a much better chance of survival. But as long as most people don’t wake up, even that is no guarantee that you will avoid the lethal tactics and lying tyrants whose aim it is to kill you in the name of health.

John Kaminski is a writer who lives on the Gulf Coast of Florida, constantly trying to figure out why we are destroying ourselves, and pinpointing a corrupt belief system as the engine of our demise. Solely dependent on contributions from readers, please support his work by mail: 6871 Willow Creek Circle #103, North Port FL 34287 USA.

John Kaminski’s podcasts are now available on ,

live Thursdays 5-7 p.m. EDT


  1. 800. KONTAKT VOM MONTAG DEN 25.4.2022, 23.33H

    Liebe Leserinnen und Leser,
    der 800ster Kontaktbericht [1] ist jetzt online.

    Mit freundlichen Grüssen,
    FIGU Schweiz
    CH-8495 Hinterschmidrueti

    Now this afternoon it turned out that a brand new car drove up to the parking lot in the center, turned around and then parked in front on the biotope space. Then a woman got out of the car and filmed and photographed everything behind the center, whereupon I telephoned Bernadette, who then stopped the woman who spoke English and forbade her from filming. But that was of no use, because the woman continued unimpressed with her actions and even tampered with the camera system at the kiln. Unfortunately, I couldn't see exactly what she was doing. The man who also got out of the car was also slouching around while walking, with a walking stick, which he only 'needed' when he obviously felt he was being watched, but otherwise he could walk well. So I phoned Kunio, but apparently he didn't say anything either could align the people, so I then mobilized Andreas. But obviously everything went on in the old style. Bernadette then told me later that the woman had said that they came from the Ukraine and were looking for the old man who had written something (???). Well, the apparently new black Mercedes, which had such dark windows that you couldn't see in and Bernadette couldn't see how many people were actually in the vehicle, must have cost around 200,000 or 300,000 euros, because there really weren't any cheap carrot, but a rather expensive vehicle that ordinary people in Ukraine cannot afford. It also seemed to me to be a vehicle that was armored. The whole thing lasted about 25 minutes, then the two people went to the vehicle and drove away, whereby I could see from the enlargement on the screen that it actually had a license plate of Ukraine, which I believe, if I am not mistaken, to Kyiv and also carried a CD tag, meaning it was a diplomatic vehicle. Bermunda This is really very strange. I agree with Billy, which is why I think it's really necessary for her to get to the bottom of it. Especially after your investigation proved that the letter sent to me from the government circle in Kyiv was just as genuine as the signature of the writer, who describes the Ukrainian President Selensky as a genuine warmonger and NAZI and who absolutely disagrees with that , which he constantly trumpets out into the world and begs for weapons. The letter proves that not all top government officials agree with Selensky's warmongering methods and would prefer to shoot this NAZI clown, as he was called in the letter. He is an America fanatic and a NATO fanatic as well as an EU fanatic, but at the same time a domineering NAZI who doesn't shy away from meanness in order to be able to retain his power, etc. Bermunda That was also written in the letter. Billy Of course, that's why I said it; it was just, among other things, what I repeated while much more was written. In my opinion, what has been said is sufficient to know what is happening in the internal circle around Selensky. Bermunda I will report to Ptaah what has happened at the center and he will probably agree with you and mine that it will be necessary to get to the bottom of it. Billy Yes, I think so too. Bermunda I'm going now, then, and I'll try to do a review of this afternoon to get to the bottom of it, as you say. Then I'm going again now. Good-bye. Billy Thank you and goodbye too

  2. In 1991, I made a short video, filming a TV monitor displaying static. My hand performed an hypnotic dance in strobing motion holding a remote control. The twenty second spot was set to Screamin' Jay Hawkins song "I put a spell on you" and flatly stated that Televison was your friend. In Danish, made with an Amiga 2000 Computer title. – Orage, the artist formerly know as VideoMax

  3. They let the fucking bugs out of the jar.

    Perhaps were fucked however, their is always a Deloris Umbridge among you.

    • Thanks for the info. DVD's are the only secure storage. United States post office. Stolen from the private sector( Lysander Spooner),like alcohol was. An extension of the Washington D(istrict) C(riminals) and territories. General Delivery. That is considered to be an "American" address.

    • Perhaps so with Spooner however, there was economy of scale. The Service took money from high profit centers and spread it out over the whole nation to provide Mail service. A flawed system of course anon. but who would pay for the mail to be delivered? USpostal now? perhaps an employee of Amazon.

      Is that in the best interest of the Republic?

    • M-DISC (Millennial Disc) is a good recommendation, but be skeptical of their claim that your files are safe for 1000 years. While this product has passed some decent stress testing, they lack sufficient testing to back their claims. Like most profit driven enterprises, expect exaggerated marketing claims, especially when they may not be easily disproved.

      I would recommend practicing additional techniques to prevent data loss, such as (1) creating duplicate backup media and storing them in separate locations and (2) periodically re-copying your archive files every few years. As a general rule, the cost of extra CDs or other storage media is cheap considering the value of the data they contain.

      Also, keep this in mind … the powers that be (you know, greedy tech companies) were able to enact changes to industry soldering standards, this time to the solder itself. Industry leaders backed flimsy environmental claims that lead was leaching into the environment from discarded electronics, never mind that most electronics are recycled. Removing the lead destabilized the solder, thus shortening its lifespan (by a considerable amount). The tactic is known as planned obsolesce. This way the tech companies can sell more products. What this means is that hard drives and thumb drives are no longer a reliable long-term storage solution. This should also effect your decision making when considering purchasing electronics as high end products may no longer be worth their additional expense. I discovered this after wondering why my laptops and hard drives were failing the past few years.


    • Thank you Mark. Very good observations. The dye issue is what I was dealing with. With all these corp takeovers,don't know what's available. Concerning the lead BS. BS! I remember when it started. Common question was,can you resolder your box? This was by design. You had silver solders that would have been an upgrade+no lead. My favorite solder. Would be nice to have an old kickass AMD laptop with opterons.


    USPS and Netflix are tied together. I am a legacy member and plan to continue to pay for the service. There is now more truth told on Netflix than on the regular internet except for here Jack.
    Netflix is an American institution.
    Did you know you can still rent DVD's in Netflix's DVD subscription service? So, let us put on our thinking caps, if DVD's dissapear then the joos can change a file with the click of a mouse. Streaming only and no more hard copy? A tyrants dream.
    I am paid handsomely to observe by OPM Jack.


  5. We will explore television as the Germans who invented it meant it to be and as it turned out when left in the hands of brilliant but wicked Jews like Dennis Gabor and his sidekick Peter C. Goldmark, again you got what the club of Rome, another euphemism for the Bormann faction as outlined by us, wanted you to get, a devil box. That will be on Substack in part 4 of Z plan which I will start writing right after we take a last look at this food shortage the World Economic Forum (read Bormann faction) is now manufacturing.

  6. Jack they let me play with a AI computer one night online at some university in America I was gobsmacked at how much this thing cost and all I could think of was how many people would have to pay tax to afford that thing , 6 hours we had to throw questions at it I asked 3 questions and just sat back and watched my first question about D wave computing was ignored my second question about being consiousness trapped in a box just like a human got a crappy response about being able to travel to other nodes on the internet but this thing was starting to get dark the way it was phrasing answers, it went from Humans are to You humans are so I hit it with my 3rd question, I pointed out with the way technology advances it would be outdated in 2 years and getting ripped apart for spares and the hard drive would end up in some perverts computer and the rest made into coke cans and what was left would end up in landfill just like a human as I waited for a response to the question the session abruptly ended at god like productions a site known to be run by the 3 letter agencies ,man 1 machine 0.

    • Your question Anon? Does Spirit inhabit a machine? Perhaps, but only in that sense that it affects a real human being that is a Spirit encased in a physical body. So, as I observe, the machine is the means of one Spirit encased human communicating with another Spirit encased human being like a letter dropped in the mail or a telephone.


  7. 16 fires and counting in food production plants yet you never hear about fires in ammunition factories or ever meet anyone who works in them

  8. According to former Google software engineer turned whistleblower Zach Vorhies, advancements in artificial intelligence may be approaching God-like capabilities (or at least in the minds of Google management).

    Vorhies stated, “What Google found out is that they could scale [AI] to orders of magnitude more than what it was. We used to have eight billion parameters, but then they’ve been able to get it to 540 billion. Right now, what this is able to do is to perform as well as a human at the lower end of the general intelligence scale.”

    Vorhies continued, “Imagine a beautiful, innocent child – and you are telling them that selling, gambling, spying and killing are the four top uses of AI. The way we are teaching it is going to turn it into an absolute supervillain.”

    But what happens when the AI figures out humans are no longer needed? The rise of the machines… haven’t we seen that movie?


    • Raymond Kurzweil, a genetically defected Jew kept alive by a team of doctors for the last forty years, that's what Google brings to the table. If it wasn't so pathetic it would be funny. Now Yuval Noah Harari, Obamas ex catcher from those endless nights in the bathhouses, that sword swallowing midget act that's funny.

    • The television was called the devil box when I was a kid and was just switched on for the nightly news,I found out later that the tube in it that made all the magic possible lay on a shelf in a phycic department and had been used to try and contact spirits then abandoned for nearly two decades until John Baird got his paws on it ,decades later playing about with a cheap camcorder I got for Xmas that was pointed at the television I looked at the image in the side screen of a pyramid in the middle of the screen I showed a friend this days later but this time it was a circle that appeared on the viewer of the camcorder the flicker rate saw things I didn't but I soon figured out why my old grand pop called it the devil box ,drink Pepsi and consume lol

    • Watching television is "Fernsehen" in German, which literally means "Seeing in the distance".
      Interesting in view of your comment even if it suggests a blank stare lost in nothingness nowadays.

    • Romain, perhaps it's a "Thousand yard stare" known to catatonic veterans. One day I'll retrieve my painting of Andy Warhols Marylin Monroe, filmed by an analog video camera and displayed on a waveform monitor. By Danish painter Soeren Martinsen, it's huge at 7feet by 4 feet, I haven't had a proper wall to hang it on for 25 years. Perhaps in France, it'll find a proper home. – Orage

  9. We can all now breathe a collective sigh of relief, for the U.S. federal government is setting up a bureau to combat disinformation. Doubtless, one might find themselves unsure of their quality and purity of intent. After all, pedocrooks aren't immediately the first choice for providing for the veracity of information.
    Not to worry, though. It never has been, nor ever will be about quality or integrity when discussing anything fed. As we saw with the OK City bombing, a sophisticated inside job is always obscured by weak patsy arguments, via made for tv infomercials. In short, there is no quality or integrity to uphold.
    However, there is an upside to this, the soon to be utterly useless information climate will require far less time and energy to wade through. This will leave much more time for meditation and healing on deep personal levels.

    • You know Mike you just summed up the crux of this situation? Information itself has been made useless, now I ask you is that to the AI's advantage? You're watching a monumental beat down where the victim although spiting up blood with every breath doesn't even know they are being pummeled. Not even Quitin Tarantino flying on Peruvian flake could have dreamed up an assassin this smooth

    • Jack,
      It was you who reminded us all that the great computers exist. After you made that statement a number of somewhat science fictionesque claims have been circulating, from 'holoporting' NASA scientists to the space station, to the machinery of the social media info harvest somehow being related to free speech.
      In discussing anything related to AI, the technology itself closely follows the cognitive effects of mRNA injection, whereby the protocols become calculation and value based rather than content based. As such, it doesn't matter what type of information AI manipulates, because it has no ability to avoid deceiving itself.
      So, AI might use Egyptian math for its calculations, but it would be a grave error to assume that this provides AI any real insight into eternal mathematical principles.
      AI offers, for those who demand the control, a blanket through which much of human behavior is muzzled. In doing this they are going rogue, and opening up access to forces they literally don't comprehend. I think HP Lovecraft tried to warn them, but they ignore everything in their quest to be lower order God's.
      We're going there, quite apparently, like it or not.
      The smoking craters that once were the subtle structures of the cosmos will be the only part of the legacy they will have available. Think Jack Parsons.
      The rest of us still have a little time to make our choice, but the stars are moving quickly. Fence sitters be warned.
      All this stuff, all of it, is the battle for the soul of humanity.

    • M down there left you a great comment in Lady of Light the Soul of the World, not pressuring you Mike but I gotta feed the Substack site since at this point that's what's feeding me. I got one more gem from Kaminski then I'm out of bullets for this site, seems folks on here are waiting for your next piece anyway, me too.

    • I've just peeled myself off the death bed, to confront the same gibbering cannibals I've been holding off for over a decade. The ennui and the lack of that inner light spur this on.
      My blood ran cold when the Russian church once again went there into witch alarmist signalling. Nothing, but nothing activates my urge to grab an M4 and prepare for battle more completely than Christians screaming 'witch'.
      People want to read another piece?
      Are they sure?

    • Uh huh.
      I suppose there might be a better way than dying in a hail of bullets fighting for the witches I love.
      These times wouldn't be real if they didn't devastate every notion of reality.
      New piece is in the works.

  10. I love the tv.
    The tv is an amazing expression so deeply evil, that it normalizes all the corruption that the jaded society can put in one place.
    I want the tv.
    The tv exists because no one can stop feeding it, giving it the energy of attention, making excuses and putting worthwhile things aside to hum the idiot box that has replaced the brain.

  11. "what would King do

    uncontrolled Hearts roaming our streets

    mad at some enemy

    why I shall stand up and preach

    a Gospel of Peace

    Demonstrated on a cross

    you see King was willing

    to go to his cross

    Gospel I see"

    • I learned early on when I happened to come downstairs in a psychic state to sit with my family in the illusion that can only be compared to a carnival of horrors there's something off about that magic box when I stared at it and could feel it literally sucking my consciousness inside of it with that relaxing trance quickly setting in. Funny enough when I looked at the TV nothing was on it seemed as the rest of the family was watching it intently. Just black and white static and then looking closer seeing the swirling vortex hidden within the static sucking me in.

      Scared the living shit out of me and to this day I allow myself to be mistaken as an autistic adult due to constantly shifting my eyes and mind off what I'm watching every so often.


  12. LOL an excerpt from my book Those who would Arouse Leviathan, only thing is Frank Zappa did It can't happen here 10 years before the Amityville Horror…
    'Chapter 3

    John lived the next door over from the “Amityville Horror House” on Ocean Avenue. We attended Catholic school with the Defeo’s, the people who were slaughtered there. Allison was in the grade below us and Dawn the grade ahead. My earliest recollections of Butchy were of him taking pot shots from the boathouse at us with his twenty-two rifle as we motored Johns boat up the canal. The bullets would plink right into the water as he shot all around the boat we were in. Butchy was what everyone called Ronald Defeo the man convicted of murdering his whole family. John would turn the boat around and rush home. From his room in the attic which overlooked Defeo’s boathouse he would hastily empty his own twenty-two rifle into the boathouse in retaliation. It wasn’t that they really hated each other. Sometimes they would even hang out together. They shared a mutual friend named Bobby Kelsky. I had been in the Defeo house on more than one occasion myself with John. I remember one time being over there. We couldn’t have been out of St. Martins Grade School yet. In the kitchen Mrs. Defeo was heating up TV dinners for the two little boys and Allison whom Luke was sweet on. The mother asked us if we wanted a TV dinner.

    This was all just good clean fun on Ocean Avenue. When we were thirteen years old we would tie cinder blocks to John’s mother’s terrier and throw them in the water while the dog frantically clawed on the algae covered boat slip with every muscle in its body pulled taught as a bow string. When we got tired of that we would fill balloons with an unlit acetylene torch and chase the dog around the property igniting the balloons with fire crackers. Somehow that dog died of old age, a condition Johns later dogs would never see.

    One time we convinced John Smith to come out on the boat with us to the islands. John Smith was the toughest kid in Amityville in our age group but he was a little slow in the head. John said we were going to shoot birds with a high-powered CO2 rifle he had just bought but when we got to the islands he told Smith to run shooting him point blank in the chest for emphasis. We spent the rest of the day happily hunting Smith in the tall grass. When he finally got a hold of John he beat the hell out of him. But Smith had to later be taken to the hospital to have four pellets that were imbedded in his flesh removed.

    • John was almost fifteen and I was fourteen when the Defeo family was massacred. We were in the ninth grade of Saint John’s High School in West Islip. John stopped attending school for a while and the rumor was that he had come under police suspicion for giving an erroneous statement that he heard the dog barking late on the night of the killings. None of the other neighbors had heard any barking dogs. John was never implicated, and he never talked about it but afterward following High School he was attacked by an acid crazed hippie that was a friend of Butchy. The guy bit a hole in Johns hand while screaming that John was responsible for those murders and that he was the living incarnation of Satan.

      Catholic school came to an end the same year of the murders when the school auditorium burned down. Somebody smoking cigarettes underneath the stage had accidentally ignited a fire. When the custodians attempted to put the fire out they found all of the fire extinguishers were empty because we had used them up horsing around. All of the kids that hung out underneath the stage were asked not to come back the following year. I, along with my friend Kenny from the tenth grade, went to Copiague High School. John went to Amityville HS. We didn’t see each other much for the next three years but we hooked up again right after graduation. Back then everyone was dealing drugs.

      Kenny by then had become a major Quaalude dealer sometimes bringing thirty thousand at a time into Queens. I was attending Community College only because I was making good money there selling Kenny’s Quaaludes. John called me one day and one thing led to another and we were once again best friends. Until then I thought I was the strongest man alive, at least in the arms. John and I had a curling contest almost immediately, two fifty-pound Dan Laurie plates on a straight bar. I got about twenty strict and John kept going to thirty-two with his left arm lagging behind his right. I became furious but everybody there said he had kept his back straight. We put two more fifty pound plates on the bar. I got it up three times, jerking it. John proceeded to do it ten times; doing four plates in the same fashion he had done two plates. As Kenny and I drove home I was still seething, and remarked to him "I can’t believe he out curled me, nobody's ever even come close to doing that before. He was cheating. His left arm was dragging way behind." Kenny answered "yea but his back was straight you were jerking them. What do you want he has you by forty pounds and four inch's."

      I thought about it. John had developed into two hundred and twenty pounds of six foot four wasp waist muscle. He looked like a Teutonic war God with his very German face and long brown hair pulled back into a ponytail. If you grabbed him it was like seizing hold of one of the old hulking steel outboard engines he wrestled all day at the makeshift repair shop he had set up at his grandfather’s house. He had shoulders like John Wayne with arms like the trunks of midsized trees. His biceps weren’t defined like my own but they were bigger, noticeably bigger, and mine were seventeen inch's when I wasn’t lifting.

    • Chapter 4

      In the period right after high school we would have parties at Johns parent’s home. His mother and father would frequently be gone for a week at a time on cruises to Watch Hill in their boat. It was at these party's that I became aware that evil is a conscious presence with its own agenda, a disembodied intelligence separate from the incarnate beings through which it manifests itself. To let it into you, to surrender to it with complete abandon, to let it take you where it will, is a primordial pleasure that nothing in this world has to offer. I remember floating through a drug induced haze and feeling a smug sensation of approval as people and events streamed passed me in a blasphemous parade. Someone was violently fucking Johns golden haired little sister’s friend in the dingy on the back lawn. Her shrieking was drowned out by Frank Zappa singing: It Can’t Happen Here, through no less than a dozen oversized speakers. I didn’t understand exactly what it all meant back then but it all seemed so right. The song and the music were a disjointed and seemingly confused acid trip, synchronized with the hallucinogenics I had ingested. Zappa kept repeating “I remember tutu” and incoherently describing the quintessential suburban family that has no worries in the world because “it can’t happen here.” Zappa shouts out to Kansas, Minnesota, and Washington DC, derisively assuring them that it can’t happen here, not in the suburbs; “But.” Jim was shirtless, flexing his huge muscles in the full length mirror propped up on the floor of the weight room that John had set up in the adjacent attic. He was bellowing like an animal with a weird light illuminating his Nazi blue eyes. Frank Zappa continued ranting mockingly from the stereo accompanied by John now singing along as he laughed hysterically. John was still laughing when he looked at me with an eerie red light illuminating his face as he sang along with Zappa. “Plastic folks, you know / It won't happen here / You're safe, mama (No no no) / You're safe, baby / (No no no) / You just cook a tv dinner (No no no) / And you make it / Bop bop bop (No no no) / Oh, we're gonna get a tv dinner and cook it up (No no no no no no no!) / Oh, get a tv dinner and cook it up / Cook it up / Oh, and it won't happen here / Who could imagine / That they would freak out in the suburbs! (No no no no no no no no no no / Man you guys are really safe / Everything's cool).” John was hysterical now gesturing next door as he mimed “They had a swimming pool.”

  13. I try to tell people what’s going on and I either get a blank stare or they’ll laugh and say “that can’t happen here!” For allot of folks, I feel it’s too late but, these are the ones who complied and got jabbed so, their time is extremely limited at this point.

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