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France II, in the Footsteps of Otto Rahn by Jack Heart

15

I took a long last drag from my cigarette and doused it in the receptacle by the front of the doors. It would be at least ten hours till the next one. I had two hours till takeoff, but I figured I better check in now considering what happened on my last flight out of Frankfurt in 2019. Orage had dropped me off at the airport at about one in the morning. The flight was at nine, so I made my way upstairs through the deserted airport and drank overpriced beer in front of an all-night McDonalds at a table in a German café across from it. At first it was just the barmaid, an attractive young fräulein who spoke little English, and I. But we were soon joined by a very strange man who hovered at the periphery of the cafe playing peekaboo behind the copious artificial plants demarcating its perimeter. Even though the temperature was in the mid-fifties outside, inside he was wearing a heavy winter snorkel coat with the hood pulled over his face. He had a shopping bag presumably to transport the days treasures he had found while foraging the airport. When I tried to take […]

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The Real Montauk Project

2
The Montauk Project: Worse Than You Think

Those of you who Understand what that giant rearing stallion in front of the Denver Airport symbolizes know this world has no future. Preston Nichols used to say a time traveler from here could travel only so far into the future before he would come to a place desolate of life that’s only geographical feature was a giant statue of a rearing stallion. Now you Free Masons, you Jesuits, you Illuminati and various homespun Magi may tell us that you know there’s a future because there has been a book written about it: Library Genesis (libgen.rs). You are not reading our words carefully enough. There is no future in this place but there are many worlds as you have already discovered with the science of Hugh Everett III, and what little you do know about National Socialism. First you will have to find the doorway out of here and so far, we have little inclination to show it to you… – Jack.

Preston’s Final Message

Jack Hearts Podcast

Peter Pan Meets Pyramid Head by Jack Heart & Orage – The Human: Jack Heart, Orage and friends (jackheartblog.org)

Montauk – The Human: Jack Heart, Orage and friends (jackheartblog.org)

Peter Pan Meets Pyramid Head II by Jack Heart & Orage – The Human: Jack Heart, Orage and friends (jackheartblog.org)

Peter Pan meets Pyramid Head III by Jack Heart & Orage – The Human: Jack Heart, Orage and friends (jackheartblog.org)

Silent Hill Silent Scream… – The Human: Jack Heart, Orage and friends (jackheartblog.org)

Excerpted From Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan:

הוד / Majesty

Part 4

Chapter 16 

Nietzsche once said “if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.” I don’t recall gazing into any abyss. I hadn’t even read a book since high school let alone anything by the master philosopher. Never the less there was an abyss dead ahead, a yawning black hole with a singularity at the center that would rend to pieces every notion by which man desperately clings to his contrived perception of reality.

It was in the tail end of June, one of those endless summer days that make life worth living. I pulled my big flatbed truck onto Sunrise Highway and slipped it into high gear. In back of me the sun was dropping like a great red fireball into an ethereal sea streaked with pastel pinks and ominous purples. I lit up a cigar sized joint and felt the air whipping through the trucks open windows. My flesh tingled with its cool caress. I had been working outside all day with my shirt off turning my complexion glowing crimson bronze with a hint of a stinging sensation. I could feel the muscles rippling beneath my skin. They were still pumped from the day’s exertion. It was a confirmation of my own virility every time they strained against the black fishnet shirt I was wearing. I was heading east to Kenny’s new house he had rented with his wife Patty, his five year old son, and his recently born baby. I got off the highway at Carlton Avenue in East Islip heading south and made a left before the rail road tracks turning into an enclave with streets named after long dead presidents. The houses were worn and run down, not as bad as Mastic and Shirley but they had long since lost their suburban charm. I made a right and another left around a sump onto a road that ran parallel to the railroad tracks and I rumbled past Kenny’s house. The lights were on and I saw Joey Baranek’s car in the driveway along with a beat up white van I didn’t recognize. It was a two family home and Kenny had the portion toward the street and the train tracks. I went about a half a block down to the cul-de-sac and made a U-turn in its aborted circle. I looked over my right shoulder at a vacant lot that stretched about the length of a football field before turning into woods and thickly tangled underbrush. The woods fish hooked from the tracks around the lot and continued through the backyards of the houses terminating at the corner with the fenced in thirty foot deep sump. Stagnant water submerged the bottom. The lot itself looked as if it was being used as an improvised dump by the Long Island Railroad. There were four and five foot high mounds of dirt, covered by weeds, and piled at impossibly steep angles as if they were built by some subterranean insect engineer. Towards the center there were charred debris strewn about in a haphazard fashion as if somebody had been burning something and then tried to put the fire out. Minus the burnt wood the overall effect was like a miniaturized version of an abandoned Mesoamerican city reclaimed by encroaching jungle.

I parked the truck in front of Kenny’s house and leapt the three feet from its cab to the street. I walked around the front of the truck and up the entrance to the two car driveway towards the house. Pausing I took one long hit from the last of the joint and flicked it into the street watching its burning embers scatter into the evening breeze. I studied the van trying to figure out who it belonged to and I noticed through the closed windows that the front of its cab was partitioned from the back by a jet black curtain. The borders of the curtain seemed to emit a faint glow that was illuminating the cab but I couldn’t be sure because of the overhead street light that had just come on. The glow seemed to flicker as if someone was burning a candle in the back. The van was motionless which was kind of creepy because I was sure it was occupied. I cleared my lungs of the pot and inhaled deeply seeking the reassurance of tasting the sweet summer air. There was nothing, no fragrant lilies and fresh cut grass, no sounds of children laughing and playing on the edge of evening. I listened more intently and noticed there were no chirping crickets or sounds of anything else except the far off forlorn whistle of a train. It was as if I had stepped into some coterminous world where what I was seeing didn’t really exist but was only the residual impression of the world I had left behind. I was startled by the long whistle of a train thundering by on the tracks not fifty feet away. I had never heard it coming.

Regaining my composure I barged through the unlocked front door without knocking. Kenny had been my best friend since we were thrown out of Catholic school together. I was the only one, including his brother and sisters that was allowed in his closet at his parents’ house when he wasn’t home. I remember opening that door and having bags of Quaaludes swallow me up in a pharmaceutical avalanche. Joey and Kenny were seated on the couch at the far side of the room. In front of them was a table supporting a small mountain of coke. Kenny immediately began cutting me a line and Joey said “where have you been? I haven’t seen you in Mo’s Place for a while.” I answered him like it was a chore “Steve and I got a divorce and I’m tired of you people trying to get me to get you coke at all hours of the night. As a matter of fact I just gave Dawn a bag of coke to sell in the bar. But I guess you haven’t seen her or you wouldn’t be here.” I looked at Kenny grinning and said “woops there goes another ounce. You told me to give it to her.” “I know” he said. “She’s my problem. She’s my sister. I want her to make money but then she doesn’t give me mine. She’s about to get cut off.” I replied “you better not do that. I ain’t acting as a drug liaison anymore, I’m a landscaper, besides” I gestured at Joey “these junkies are mainlining it in Al’s van in the parking lot of Mo’s.” Joey denied it of course but everyone knew.

Joey started to fidget on the couch. His slightly goofy face was accessorized by string straight platinum blond hair and buck teeth, all supported on a pear shaped body. The goofy face contorted to a look of confusion as he glanced at his watch. “Ten O’clock” he said. “How is it Ten O’clock? I got here at about eight thirty. It doesn’t even feel like I have been here a half hour. That stuff must be even better than I thought it was.” I was incredulous. I asked him “What time did you say it was?” I didn’t wait for an answer. I was probably already up on the running board of my truck by the time he gave it. I turned on the lights and looked at the dashboard clock; sure enough it was Ten O’clock. It was just getting dark when I got there. I was at Kenny’s no more than two or three minutes by my calculations. I walked back in and as I passed the van I saw it was now rocking rhythmically back and forth. When I came back in I wasn’t saying anything about the time. I looked at Kenny still seated on the couch and said “what’s with that van in the driveway it looks like someone’s going at it in there?” He flashed me that knowing white smile emphasized by his twinkling green eyes and said “my new neighbor the dyke and her girlfriend. They’re not allowed to do it in the house so they do it out there almost every night.” I said “you think they would mind if I watch?” He laughed and said “you don’t want no part of that. They’re both fat disgusting pigs. That is one strange family. The mother seems like she’s their prisoner and the family’s run by the sixteen year old son who looks like he just crawled out from underneath a rock and smells like it too. They all call him Chief. Never heard them call him anything else. Then there’s the little one he’s the weirdest one of them all. He’s supposedly a deaf mute and you only see him at night. I don’t think he even lives there. Every night the fat dyke goes out and picks him up. He must live close by. She’s never gone more than five or ten minutes. Funny I never see her leaving to drop him off. He’s only about twelve years old. I don’t know what a kid that age is even doing out that late.”

A grin crossed my face. I figured he had to be putting me on, sure when we were little he used to like to set things on fire and watch them burn but he never told lies nor did he exaggerate. I said “what the fuck are you trying to tell me you are sharing a house with the Adams family?” He told me “you ain’t even heard half of it yet. The kids in this neighborhood are like a cult or something, like we used to set fire to things when we were kids these kids crawl through the walls of these houses and watch the people inside them. And that Chief character next door seems to be their leader.” This sounded like a case of cocaine paranoia but Kenny was practically immune to cocaine. He could do a huge line eat a ham sandwich and go to bed five minutes later. Besides Kenny didn’t do all that much coke, not every day, not even every week. Like I have already said Kenny was good at dealing drugs. “That’s crazy” I scowled at him. He answered indignantly “I’ve seen it myself and all the people in this neighborhood know about it. A few days after we moved in I was walking my dog down at the lot on the end and this guy comes out and starts talking to me. He said that burnt wood over there is from when these kids burned down their own clubhouse while they were inside it. One of them got third degree burns all over his legs. That’s the kid that lives next door to me; Billy. The fire department had to pull him out of there. Then he tells me that a couple of days ago he’s sitting there watching TV in his living room when the ceiling caves in and three kids come raining down between him and the TV. They just got up and walked out. When he called the cops the cops told him there was nothing they could do about it, since he couldn’t identify who the kids were.” He was starting to get my attention when I asked “He didn’t know them?” As if he knew what he was implying he took a deep breath and said “He said it was a couple of boys and a girl but it was like the police didn’t want to know about it.” “The kids must have come through the attic.” I said. “You can’t crawl through a ceiling, unless you happen to be rodent or something.” “No.” He said. “I asked him that too. He said it was in the living room on the first floor. He can’t figure it out either.”

I didn’t know what to make of what he was saying and I really didn’t believe much of it. It was second hand information. I would have just told him to cut me another line but at that moment I was plunging into the abyss. Kenny, Joey, and I, all looked at the ceiling above the couch where they were sitting simultaneously. Kenny stood up triumphantly and Joey terrified. I was already standing. I will not sit on a couch with its back to the window and that was the only other couch in the room. Across the ceiling a dragging sound began from the wall by the stairs. The sound was heading toward the far side of the house, the windowless side facing the railroad tracks. It was distinct, halting, and deliberate, no auditory hallucination, besides we all heard it. “The bastards been listening to us.” Kenny said. “I knew it! The other day he was watching Patty take a bath. I heard him behind the medicine cabinet.” I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and hearing. Joey said he had to go now. His pasty white complexion was a vivid red. The noise continued slowly, inexorably, across the ceiling towards the windowless wall adjacent to the train tracks. Against that wall Kenny had his seven foot tall entertainment system. On top of the entertainment system, out of reach of little Kenny is where he kept his coke. I waited till I heard Joey’s car pull away. I looked up at the ceiling and said “alright you little fuck. Are you testing to see if this is a game? Well your about to find out right now.” I went back out to the truck. By then the van had stopped rocking. I returned with my Gerber Guardian II knife. The thing had about a ten inch double edged blade that was sharp enough to shave with. I could whip it overhand like a Nolan Ryan fastball and stick an insect fifteen feet away. I said “this will go right through that plasterboard ceiling. Now what are you going to do?” The noise continued moving toward the wall and the cocaine. I looked at Kenny and said “alright you have joists running about every sixteen inch’s off center across that whole ceiling. They support the floor above and this ceiling is just the facing for them. Nothing could crawl that way. Maybe a rat that has gnawed holes through about a dozen two inch thick joists. But that’s no rat. It’s too loud and too deliberate to be any kind of an animal.” Kenny and I both agreed that Chief had to have made some alterations on the joists prior to Kenny moving in and was somehow pushing and dragging things through the holes he had made from his own side of the house, or somewhere outside, or both.

At about that time Patty came down from little Kenny’s room upstairs right above us. As her name implied she was very Irish looking. With blond hair and piercing blue eyes she was a bit heavy set but had a good sturdy body. I had always thought Kenny could have done better but Kenny wasn’t drawn to the kind of woman I was. Kenny asked her if she had heard anything upstairs. She said she hadn’t and little Kenny was asleep. “What are you doing with that knife?” She asked me. She had never liked me. I think Rick had been her friend originally. Kenny told her what was going on and she looked at us both disbelievingly. The noise which was now between the far end of the couch and the entertainment center suddenly bolted to its right parallel to the joists and right towards the bay window. It made something like a whooshing sound silencing abruptly when it got to the wall. Patty heard it and she became insistent on moving the coke to their bedroom upstairs. When she came back down she was skeptical about the whole thing again.

Kenny and I were not. I tucked the knife into the sheath in my pants and we went outside. There was about an eight foot overhang above a single step wooden porch shared for the entrances of both residents. Kenny’s side of the overhang ended about where his bay window began. The overhang had a sloped roof like the rest of the house and there was clearance for people inside it along its whole length, which was about twenty feet. Kenny went over to between his door and the neighbors and looked up at the hole where the light fixture for the front entrance should have been. “There was a light on here yesterday.” He said. “I know it was on all night.” I went over and looked up at the hole. The porch was dark and the hole was darker. I said “Chief are you up there? You think this is funny Chief? It would be really funny if I had a nail gun in the truck. What kind of chief are you? Are you an Indian chief? Do you have other little Indians up there with you? Do you have any idea what kind of insects are up there with you in the dark; wasps, hornets, spiders, who the fuck knows what else. No wonder you smell like shit.” When we went back inside Patty was upstairs.

Probably for the first time in my life I was intrigued by one of its events. This was the phantasm that had stalked me from my crib, the unnamed darkness that lurked on the periphery of my dreams. This was not just a fleeting glimpse or a random shadow that would quickly become a faded memory. This was an event that was being witnessed by others, an event that could be scrutinized. This was my raison d’être, my reason for existence, the part in me that I had by now thoroughly convinced myself didn’t exist. What had happened at Kenny’s that night could not be explained with rationalizations. But artificial me, the disguise that I was so comfortable wearing for both the rest of the world and for myself, could never admit that, at least not yet and never publically until now.

I had put Kenny to work investigating everybody in the neighborhood. In school we had called Kenny the Mayor because he was friends with everybody. That’s how he had made his current Columbian connection. The guy had gone to Copiague High school with both of us. I remembered him, vaguely. The guy was just some no English speaking immigrant that hid in the corner afraid of both the Black kids and the White kids. His only memory now of high school was Kenny was his only friend. And Kenny was cleaning up on that memory. The guy wouldn’t sell to anybody else on Long Island.

It was the first really hot spell of the year when I pulled in front of Kenny’s about a week later. I had just finished my first big job of the season but even with a pocket full of cash the Maria Regina job seemed like a thousand years ago. My landscaping business was slow again and whatever I had Jim could handle even if he had drunk two quarts of Wild Turkey the night before. I immediately got out and walked over to the soffit on the overhang by Kenny’s bay window. I climbed up on the railing around the porch and pushed against the soffit. It was secured solidly and the cedar shingles adjacent to it above the window looked like they had never been moved. I jumped down onto the porch to take a look at the hole for the light fixture. Before I did I looked across the lawn at the neighboring house. Sprawled out on an easy chair in the brilliant light of noon was a young girl basking in the sun. She was wearing a bikini and looked to be about sixteen years old. She could have been the coal miner’s daughter splayed out as the sacrificial virgin in some titillating Hollywood B movie. She was a real cracker beauty and it just didn’t seem right that she could lay there like that on her back with her legs spread in such an inviting fashion. Her crotch pointed right at me.

When I went through the door Kenny was on the couch in his usual place by the entrance to the kitchen. I said “Who’s the girl?” He gave me his little sly smile and said “that’s Kim Jackson. She’s the people next doors daughter. Would you believe she is only twelve years old?” I deadpanned “no.” He continued “She also has really bad asthma and isn’t allowed out of the house. Since I have been here the ambulances have been here at least three times for her. She could just get an attack and die at any moment. That’s the first time I have ever seen her hanging out outside.” Jokingly I said “maybe she knew I was coming.” He wrinkled his nose a little and said “naw. That’s jailbait” like I didn’t know that already. Suddenly remembering I said “I forgot to look at the Chiefs peek hole.” He said “go out there. You’re going to freak out.” When I went outside the light fixture was back in place. Kenny came outside and said “the next day it was just back on there, like it was nobody’s business. I even asked the little creep next door. He says the landlord was fucking with it.” We both looked over at the girl. She seemed like she was oblivious to us. Her head was thrown back and her eyes were closed. But she was only about forty feet away and almost naked in a very sexually suggestive pose. I kind of doubted that she was unaware of our presence. I looked at where the bikini bottom pulled taught against her crotch. I could see the area around it was wet.

We went back inside and I thought I heard Kim’s mother over the background noise of the TV screaming for her to get inside. I asked Kenny if he had found out anything new. He said “plenty and you got to hear what happened the other day.” I was already hooked. I had to know what was going on there. “What?” I asked him. He paused and took a deep breath. “It was about four o’clock in the morning and me and Patty were sleeping when all of a sudden this screeching starts from over in the woods. It sounded like a monkey or some kind of giant parrot. It was loud enough to wake the dead. It must have been up in a tree somewhere back there.” He pointed between the lot and his house and continued talking. “The cops got here fast and they were all over the place. People were all out in their backyards in their pajamas and bathrobes. The cops cordoned off the area from here down to the lot and told everybody there was a dangerous animal loose in the woods and everybody had to get in their houses. I saw these other guys through the kitchen window. They looked like fireman. They were carrying ladders through the yards. They must of went up in the tree and got it because it shut up pretty abruptly. Then everybody just picked up their barricades and left. No one said a word about what it was.” I said “your fathers the bay constable you can’t find out?” He said “I asked him. He said the cops don’t know what it was either. Some kind of federal animal control agency came in and got it. “That would be Plumb Island.” I said. “It’s off of Montauk. That’s where the government does its Dr Frankenstein routine on animals for the whole country. That’s about sixty miles and a short boat ride away. Kind of out of their jurisdiction weren’t they?” He just looked at me and said “It didn’t take them that long to get here, seemed like they were just right around the corner.”

I asked him if he had talked to any of the neighbors. He said “yea all of them. Their all really scared but their all insisting that’s it’s just these kids. Apparently Chief over there” he gestured to the ceiling above him “is the leader of his own little satanic cult. Kim’s father next door caught him leaving all the shades on his window across from Kim’s wide open in the middle of the night while he did this weird little naked dance around candles.” I found myself wondering about the whole neighborhoods apathetic reaction to being surreptitiously cast in a real life version of Children of the Corn and said “and he didn’t kill the kid or at least call the police?” “He went over there.” Kenny said. “He spoke with the mother and she said she would make him stop. He says it hasn’t happened again. He’s watching.” I was smirking when I said “yea I see he’s got it all under control” referring to his almost naked daughter posed like a thanksgiving turkey right outside the front door. Kenny continued. “I been talking to the kid next door on the other side; Billy, the kid that burned his legs. He’s about fourteen. He’s already told me that this kid Chief,” he again gestured to Chiefs now customary place in the ceiling, “worships the devil and so do his sister and brother, that all the kids in the neighborhood were afraid of them. Because Chief did bad things to people, and he hinted that Chief was responsible for his legs.” I asked “What do you mean?” He answered “well when he said that shit he looked down at his leg real coyly. But the kids a little con man. I trust him about as far as I can throw him. He wants me to take him fishing at Heckscher State Park next week. I’ll get more out of him then.” “We can take him shark fishing.” I said “Or how about I just get Phil and John down here to give them a little parental guidance. I don’t care what these kids are doing. It doesn’t sound like those federal people pulled no kid out of that tree.”

We went outside to look around the neighborhood. The first thing I noticed was a wire extending from Chiefs room upstairs over the roof and down around the other side of the house running into the basement. It looked like the wire for a TV. Around the back many of the people had recently installed fences. Some were still in the process of building them. Kenny now had a six foot stockade separating his yard from the woods. It was connected with the fences of the neighbors on each side. I asked him “who put that up?” He said. “I did yesterday. My lats are killing me from digging holes all day. I don’t know how you guys do it every day.” I sarcastically said “well its Chief’s backyard too. Why didn’t he help you? Isn’t he afraid the beast of East Islip will return?”

I looked across at Kim’s window. She was no longer outside. But her father was and he was looking up there too. Raked across the aluminum siding directly under her window were what looked to be claw marks. They were also on the siding beside the window but were much less pronounced. The spread between the gashes were about a half a foot each but they were made in uniform groupings of four like a giant hand or paw had been clawing underneath Kim’s second floor window. Kenny also saw them and followed by me walked over to Kim’s father saying “what the hell? How long have those been there?” The father said “I don’t know. I just saw them. He must be trying to climb through her window with a ladder. I better call the police” He looked to me like he was more than just a little spooked. I couldn’t resist chiming in. “Kenny and I used to do work for Joe Alteri. That’s the guy who does all the guarantee painting work for Al-Can and All-Site on Long Island. They do all the aluminum siding on the East Coast. We ran six man ladder crews spraying sometimes two houses a day every day for a year. Those marks weren’t made by no ladder. Those look like claw marks to me. Maybe a twenty foot grizzly bear” I said smirking. The guy just looked at me, turned around and walked inside. He looked like he was going to throw up.

We went around the other side of the house to examine Chief’s wiring job. As we came around the far side the wire started jumping in two foot leaps and slapping against the house as if someone on the other side of the roof was whipping it back and forth. When we ran around to Chiefs window the wire was motionless running straight out his window and over the house. The same way it had been before. When we went around to the side where the wire ran into the basement it started to jump around again. It could not have been being moved from the basement since someone had drilled a hole right through the foundation, run the wire through, and sealed it with tar. We must have tried three or four times but we could not catch Chief moving the wire from the window of his room. That wire looked like it never had budged from the place where we had first seen it drawn taunt out the window and over the roof. I looked at Kenny and said “come on now Kenny he’s playing with us, got us chasing around his little wire like cats after a ball of string. This kids going to have to get dealt with.” Kenny said “oh yea real good idea. With all the shit I got laying around the house.” Resignedly I said “Well lets go inside and do some lines and drink a few beers. It’s too hot out here maybe we can catch him later when its dark.” Kenny agreed and said “let me just show you this before the garbage men get here.” We went out by the garbage pales in the street and he pointed triumphantly. There was a clear plastic bag with assorted nastiness in it along with what looked to be about a half dozen empty cans of Raid wasp spray. I said “I guess he never thought of that before. I need a line.”

Patty had taken the kids to the pool at Heckscher State Park. Sometime during the day I had taken some Xanax and fell asleep on the couch. When I awoke the baby was crying and Patty was banging pots and pans around in the kitchen. Kenny was upstairs with the baby which was probably why it was crying. It was almost dark. There was a knock at the door and when I answered Chucky, Dawn, and a couple of girls I didn’t know were out there. Chucky, along with our friend Tommy, had been the Copiague high school heart throb. He had moved to Mount Sinai and nobody had seen him since. Dawn pushed passed me snickering “what the fuck did you do to that faggot Joey? He says he will never come here again. He thinks the place is haunted. What a little bitch. Now I have to come here all the time? I don’t even have a car.” She screamed up the stairs “Kenny you have to get me a car!” I told Chucky and the other girls to come in and went back to the couch. Kenny came down and sat next to me telling Patty to go upstairs and take care of the kids. Dawn flopped into the loveseat by the window with her white high heeled marsh mellow shoes on the upholstery. There was no other seats left so Chucky and the other girls stood. We made small talk about Chuckey’s new life in Mount Sinai which is where the other two girls were from. Eventually Chucky asked Kenny for a quantity of coke which Kenny dutifully pulled down from the top of the entertainment center. He had put it back up there after deciding Chief wasn’t after his coke. Kenny and Dawn went outside to have a few words and the girls sat down in Dawns now unoccupied loveseat. Chucky continued to stand making small talk with me when the dragging sound started again right above his head. Chucky was astonished as were the girls who were with him. They got up and huddled close to him as he stared up in amazement at the ceiling. I went to the door and told Kenny he better come in. We went through the whole story with Chucky. All the while Dawn was telling her brother he should get Patty and the kids out of there and let me start blasting the ceiling. During that time the dragging sound continued off and on. Chucky looked like he wanted to stay and help us investigate the mystery but Kenny had given Dawn some coke to sell and she kept saying she had to get out of there.

We all went out into the darkness together walking Chucky to his car. He kept saying “nobody could crawl through that ceiling. That’s what I do in Mount Sinai. I build houses. What the fuck was that?” Dawn screamed loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear her “don’t worry they’ll figure it out. They figure everything out. That’s why they’re the only guys with any money from Copiague. The little faggots in this neighborhood are in a lot of trouble!” As Chucky walked out in the street to get in his car two bottles came flying from out of nowhere. They just missed his head and smashed in the street. I broke into a run yelling over my shoulder “I think they came from over the tracks!” The three of us clambered over the embankment. When we got to the other side we heard the sound of running footsteps on pavement but we couldn’t see anybody even though the view up and down the street was unimpeded. A voice came from the direction of the footsteps saying we will get so and so on them “He’s in the army.” And another voice answered him as it faded into the darkness with the footsteps “yea we’ll get the army. The army’s on our side.” Chucky left. After that I never saw him again. Even as she was getting in the car Dawn kept telling me I should go and get John and Phil. I was beginning to think she was right but I kept telling myself these are kids.

As Kenny and I walked back to the house together I said to him “they must have ditched behind one of those houses on the other side of the tracks, some of them must live over there. We gotta figure out which house it is.” He looked at me disbelievingly and with little enthusiasm said “yea.” Exasperated I said “what the fuck do you think its ghosts. There ain’t no such thing as ghosts. Those were flesh and blood kids that just threw flesh and blood bottles at Chucky.” He said “what the fuck were they talking about, the army?” I didn’t answer him. I had no answer. As I took the step back up to the porch I looked at Kenny’s front door. Somebody had splashed a can of used coffee grinds all over it. It looked like it was piled four inches thick on the welcome mat but then I quickly realized the whole mass was a writhing colony of ants. The ants had already covered Kenny’s door. Not wanting any of them to get in the house we went around to the back door. It was covered with ants in the same manner as the front door. I said “the little fuck emptied some of those ant colony’s you can grow in a fish tank on your doors while we were chasing the other ones over the tracks.” He didn’t say anything as he jumped gingerly over the ants to get in the house. I took my car up to the store and purchased two cans of Raid. When I came back I put an end to the ant plague. Patty swept up shovels full of dead ants for what seemed like hours complaining all the while “you didn’t have to kill them they would have went away on their own.”

Later on that night Hal came over in his Ferrari. Hal was a mid twenty’s rich Jew from Dix hills whose father owned a chain of jewelry stores. I liked Hal so I ended up leaving with him and picking up three girls driving around Copiague at six o’clock in the morning. Even more luckily these girls were in their own car because the Ferrari only had two seats. We made plans with them to go back to Hals pool house. I figured I would need a deluxe bag of coke for the occasion so I called Kenny from a pay phone. He didn’t answer even though I kept it ringing for a long time. Kenny always answered his phone. We had to go back to East Islip to pick up my car anyway so we had the girls follow us back there. When we arrived I banged on all his doors and windows with a great deal of persistence and for an extended length of time. I disappointedly came to the conclusion that the day’s events really had frightened him and he had taken Patty and the kids to a motel. I wasn’t doing another twenty-four hours in any pool house with these girls unless I was really high so I ended up going to Jims and crashing out there Hal was on his own.

When I woke up I called Kenny again. There was no ring or any other kind of a preliminary. There was a dial tone and as soon as I dialed his number I could hear the familiar sounds of Patty banging pots and pans around in the kitchen with the water running. I listened for a while and I heard a distant baby crying but no one talking. I wasn’t more than fifteen minutes away so I went to his house. When I got there Kenny was outside with little Kenny and Patty was in the kitchen. I checked the phone in the kitchen and it was firmly on the hook. I asked if the baby had been downstairs, if little Kenny had been inside, or if Patty had been using the phone. She said “no.” Kenny said “I’ve been home for two days and nobodies been calling me.” He couldn’t understand why he couldn’t hear me banging on the doors and under his bedroom window. He said “the baby’s up by six, every morning.” I said “I just called your phone and listened to everything that was going on in your house while it was still on the hook.” “What do you mean?” He asked. I explained to him what had happened. I said “I think you’re under some kind of surveillance Kenny. Sounds to me like it’s some kind of technology that hasn’t made the TV yet, probably never will. I guess I accidentally tapped into it when I dialed your number.”

Kenny took it real serious. Instinctually Kenny was one of the smartest guys I have ever met, maybe the smartest. He stopped dealing coke and took a vacation in Atlantic City with his Columbian connection. He was gone for about a week and he left Patty with his stash. I went over there one day to see how she was doing and she told me she had pulled a bag off the top of the entertainment system and dumped it all over. She said all she could get back out of the carpet was about an ounce of rock and she might as well do it. She and I took a ride over her friend’s house; the kids were over her parents. Patty and her girlfriend started dropping rocks in ammonia turning it into a nasty tasting form of free base. They made me smoke it with them probably to insure that I didn’t tell Kenny because she wasn’t allowed to base. Two girls practically forcing me to smoke cocaine with them was sexually titillating so I went along with it. It was just a mind game at the time. Nothing happened. It was my best friend’s wife. It was the first time I had ever tried base and I ended up being convinced that it was a waste of perfectly good coke.

When Kenny got back from Atlantic City his father confirmed my suspicions. Kenny was on law enforcements radar. He closed shop and started making arrangements to move the family to Florida when he was done living out his security in East Islip. Kenny and I started doing a lot more coke. He had a lot left and my season was really slow that year. The both of us became obsessed with finding out exactly what was going on in East Islip. By then John was, for the first and only time in his life, happily married. I got him to come over Kenny’s by promising him a bag of coke that he could take home and do with Meryl. When he did come over, wearing his ostrich skin boots just for the occasion, nothing happened. John went on and on lecturing me that night. “See. You should know much more than I do. You have a way higher IQ than I do. You like to read books and I hate to read books. But I read a lot of books when I was in jail and I took them home for you to read. You have never even looked at them. They’re still sitting up in a box in my old room at my mothers. You can’t see the nose in front of your face. You’re like some stupid Guiney gangster in a bar.” I don’t remember much else about that night except John left early with his bag of coke and I consented to take a look at the books.

He came over my mother’s house a few days later with the box full of hardcover books, some quite old. He got my attention immediately when he said “you better read these. Your right there is something going on over there. When I left Kenny’s I stopped at that big club over on the corner. I don’t even know why I stopped. I have never been in there before. When I walked through the door there was a guy standing there with these two big muscle bound dudes who were afraid to even ask me for the cover. I go to push past them and this guy starts talking to me like he knows me calling me by my first name. “Hey John. John I been waiting for you.” He hung out with me all night. Turns out he was the owner and he kept giving me free drinks. He was talking about some really crazy shit. Saying he was with the Mafia and the CIA, that they were the same thing and that they had been watching me for a real long time now and they wanted me to work with them. I don’t know anything about anybody crawling through walls but this guy was clearly waiting for me at the door and he knew all about me.” I just looked at him and wondered whether he had consented to work with them or not. But as I have intimated before in this story there is a formality between me and John that should not exist between two guys who have known each other as long as we both had. I observed protocol and started looking through the books.

There was this huge blue book; The Golden Dawn by Israel Regardie. It was full of symbols and rituals. There was Practical Magick by Aleister Crowley containing the same symbols and rituals and two volumes by Godfrey Higgins about Masonic lore. There was a thin white book called The Holy Books by Aleister Crowley that John said was the most important. He snatched it from my grasp and started reading passages like some Jurassic Age Shakespearean actor having an orgasm during recital. From what I could gather from the obscure symbolism that I did not understand yet Crowley was saying that he had killed the old God, or at least he was going too and that he would be the new one. There were also other books including two more by Israel Regardie; The Middle Pillar and the Garden of Pomegranates. John explained to me that Regardie was the only man that wrote books about him that ever really knew Crowley, having been his personnel secretary. The Garden of Pomegranates would be the first book I would end up reading but not yet. I already believed in demigods. In fact I was already fully convinced that John and I were just such entities but praeterhuman intelligences had thus far been beyond my range of experiences. My father hadn’t taught me much about philosophy and religion but he had taught me to believe nothing of what I heard and only half of what I had seen. I was going with that for now. I still do.

A reconnaissanceof the area Kenny had moved to revealed that beyond the vacant lot and burned out fort, about a quarter mile down the tracks, was the Great River Train Station, a major hub for the Long Island Rail Road’s south shore line. East of the train station was Heckscher State Park and miles of virgin woodland. There was nothing unusual about the area geographically except that it was a bit more rural than the majority of Long Island’s South Shore. Carlton Avenue had some clubs and some bars and a lot of dilapidated stores. The area Kenny’s house was in was between Montauk Highway and Sunrise Highway. It was strictly White working class.

I took a look at Chief and his menagerie of a family. Chief himself skulked about. You would see him coming and going, sometimes with his family, sometimes alone, but never laughing or joking. He looked like a young version of Charles Manson without the beard but the same long dark hair and wild staring eyes. Sometimes I would pass him on the porch. When I glowered at him he would look down to avert my eyes. He always smelled like rotten eggs and the scent would linger long after he had passed. One of the neighbors had told Kenny that they had seen him climbing out of a man hole of the neighborhoods partially constructed sewers. The sister was a fat dyke just as Kenny had said. She was about eighteen. She had dark hair, a bad complexion, and the IQ of a door knob. The little brother as predicted only appeared after dark. He was an undersized twelve, skinny and frail, pale white with closely cropped dark hair. He either could not or would not talk. Billy had told us that when he played with the other kids he would communicate by whistling to them. You could hear whistling outside at all hours of the night. When questioned about the kid’s nocturnal habits Billy was evasive saying something about his father, whom the kid lived with, working at night. The mother didn’t look like anyone in her family she was bleach blond, well kept, and about mid forty’s.

Billy lived in the single family house next door on the side towards the lot. He was about fourteen years old and shared the house with his mother. He was as disingenuous as anyone that age could be. He spent all day practicing in his backyard with a bow and arrow. He would seek me or Kenny out and talk to us for hours. Somehow you knew he wasn’t really saying anything. Whenever he was questioned about the strange goings on in the neighborhood he would always intimate that it was Chief without coming right out and saying so. Flanking the other side towards the sump was the single family home that was the residence of Kim and her family. I rarely, if ever, talked to Kim. Her father looked like he was about to have a nervous breakdown. I figured seeing her speaking to me would push him right over the edge.

One day Kenny and I were over by the sump with the dog and I spotted a two foot long greenish brown snake in the sand by the fence. As I have said I have had a lifelong love affair with herpetology so knowing there are no venomous snakes on Long Island I immediately grabbed my prize to examine it. I was a little surprised when it spread a cobra like hood and hissed at me. It was a Hog Nosed Snake, the only one I have ever seen on Long Island. Although they are harmless they do a perfect imitation of a cobra, hood and all, to scare away predators. If that doesn’t work they will keel over and play dead excreting a noxious foul smelling fluid all over themselves. I was going to keep it and put it in a fish tank at home but when I saw the fat dyke’s window was open on the van I couldn’t resist. Grinning like an idiot I threw it in the van. The next day when Billy saw me he couldn’t wait to tell me that the girls had found it and had nearly had apoplexy. They had to get Chief to remove it from the van for them. Billy assured me Chief said ‘that was a really good one.’

I needed to turn up the heat a little which I did by inserting Phil into the situation. Phil came up with the same solution he did for everything. He told a mortified Kenny that he would make Chief disappear. Kenny said “you can’t do things like that around here. First of all I don’t do shit like that. Second of all the police are watching this place. And third of all these are just kids.” Phil started hanging around the house. He told us “you guys are just doing too much coke. Nobody could walk around inside walls and even if they could nobody would be stupid enough to play around over here. Give me a few ounces of coke and there will be no kids left in this neighborhood. I have to see this to believe it.” Patty said “I already told them that.” Pointing to me she continued “nothing ever happens when he’s not here. The few things I have seen seem to all revolve around him. It’s as if he is the source of everything.” Kenny chimed in “he hasn’t been over for the past couple of days and the knick-knackson the entertainment center have been moving around. I marked where they are and I have been watching them. They are moving around!” Phil said “you’re probably just playing your stereo to loud. Or it’s the vibrations of the trains going by. What do you think its ghosts? There are no ghosts or believe me I would have seen a few by now. Do you think Chief can make himself invisible? I can’t believe somebody like you is even saying shit like this. Eric already went over this whole house and he said none of the shit you’re talking about is possible. The guys a master carpenter. He builds high-rises in the city!” Phil was right. I had brought Eric over to check out the house and he had checked the attic and the basement, to Patty’s incessant objections. Eric had pronounced the house secret passage free. But he told me something else on the side that I never have told anybody. “Watch Patty. Whatever is going on there she’s involved.” Kenny had a native intelligence that he couldn’t articulate with his limited command of language but Eric had something else. Eric was half animal. The biting incidents, the over sized tendons and blood veins coiling around his arms were not the only manifestations of that fact. He was as sentient as any cat or dog. If Eric said something was going to happen it almost always did. Everybody knew this about him.

That day we watched the knick-knacks for hours. A glass figurine slowly but surely moved about six inch’s during the course of the day. Its movements were so slow they were beyond the realm of human perception, only about an inch an hour, but after six hours the figurine had moved six inches. Phil insisted it was the rumbling of the trains passing by every hour or so that moved them but he was being obstinate. The figurine was steadily moving which Kenny proved to him by placing another knick-knack next to it. In an hour the figurines had about an inch clearance between them even though no trains had come, no music was playing, and the entertainment center was perfectly level. Patty kept coming in the room and saying to me “it’s you. It’s you.” But she would not explain herself. It had rained torrentially during the course of the day and outside a brick chimney stack ran from the basement to about three feet above the ledge of the roof. Around dusk, very loud and very clearly, a suction sound could be heard coming from the stack as if something was scaling it outside making its way to the roof using suction cups. When we went outside there was nothing. Phil quipped “it must be Batman. Good I always wanted to kick his ass.” Looking at me he said “you take Robin.”

It was after dark when we again heard the suction sound coming from the chimney stack outside. We all ran outside at the same time practically getting jammed in the doorway together. The sound of running footsteps were coming from over by the sump and Kenny and Phil took off in hot pursuit. I ran around the side of the house to see if anybody was by the chimney. I didn’t see anybody so I started toward the street to catch up with Kenny and Phil. I had the overwhelming sensation of being watched and I hadn’t checked the roof anyway so when I got out into the street where I would have a clear view of it I stopped running and turned around. There on the roof with its long legs spread for balance and one arm extended to brace itself against the top of the chimney was the essence of my nightmares. It was not human. That was plain enough. It was at least seven feet tall with membranous bat wings semi folded into its back. It had no head only two dinner plate sized glowing red eyes that seemed to grow right out of its shoulders. Its eyes did not stare but rather burned themselves right into me and for a long time afterwards I would see them in reflections at night and in my dreams. Years later I would read John Keels descriptions of what was called the Mothman but at the time I had never even imagined that something like that could exist, at least in my waking hours. After what seemed like forever suspended in time with our gazes locked in what could only have been an ephemeral embrace I broke free and took off down the block after Kenny and Phil. When I got to the corner Phil was climbing over the fence out of the sump saying “there’s no one down there unless you think their hiding underwater.” Kenny looked at me and said “did you see anything around the house?” Staring into space I said “no.”

I had never had a hallucination before even though I had taken massive dosages of hallucinogenics trying to induce one in myself. I had always figured if I could just have a hallucination the mysteries of my childhood would be solved. Sometimes it had appeared as if the patterns on walls, rocks, and plants, were some kind of ancient and universal written language but there is a big difference between a delusion and an illusion. Once I took about twenty hits of John’s mescaline and stared all night into the water from the docks at the Venice. After a few hours the reflections of lights from the surrounding buildings seemed to dance like burning cities on the waves of the bay. But as far as seeing pink elephants or even spontaneously seeing visions I had never come close. What I had seen was real and it wasn’t something any ‘sane’ person would see so I kept my mouth shut. When we got back to the house Patty was waiting for us in the doorway. I was silent the rest of the night and we sat in the living room doing lines. Patty kept asking me “did you see something outside?” Phil said “there’s nothing out there but a couple of kids fucking around. Believe me.” But Patty was mocking and insistent “no. Look at him. He’s all white. He looks like he’s seen a ghost. You kept looking out there. What did you think you were going to do if you ever actually found what you were looking for? Turns out all you could do is run away from it. Why bother looking for something if you’re just going to run away when you find it?” I didn’t answer her but Kenny angrily did “what the fuck are you talking about Patty? I think you’re doing too much shit lately. There ain’t nothing but a few ounces left and I’m selling the rest to Bates tomorrow for whatever I can get for it. That’s it! Party’s over for everyone!”

There was a ringing in my ears all that night and the impression of children’s laughter right beyond the threshold of perception. When I went in the kitchen for a beer Patty had hung a wicker basket of burnished glass stones over the kitchen counter. Two of them were red like giant ruby’s and caught the stove light reflecting like a pair of eyes in the rain splattered window over the sink. They seemed to be reminding me that I would never be alone again. I had listened to the song Easy Ride by the Doors since John had dragged me out of the water now I knew. Eyes like burning glass. “The mask”, the veneer of the lie, had been ripped from the face of the liar. I could see him clearly now, as clearly as he could see me.

We kept shoveling coke up our noses and we kept hearing footsteps running around outside the windows. Every time we heard a noise Phil would respond by bursting out the doors in a futile attempt to catch the noises source. Around daybreak Kenny, Phil, and I snuck out the front door and made a mad dash to the railroad track embankment slipping and sliding over its rocky gradient. On the other side of the tracks we waited. As the first rays of daylight lifted the veil of darkness from Kenny’s house we watched in amazement. Billy was running around the house in circles pausing occasionally under the windows. His body was hunched over as he ran like a marathon runner almost out of gas. Phil looked at us victoriously saying “should I go slap the shit out of the ghost now?” We crossed the tracks and stood watching as the kid darted first one way then another around the house. Although we were less than a hundred feet away, standing right there in the open, it was as if he could not see us. After no less than a dozen laps he ran around the back and didn’t come back. When we looked he was nowhere to be found. He had pitched a tent in the fenced enclosure of his backyard. We watched the tent for a while waiting for him to come out. Finally Kenny said “you guys better go home. That kids fourteen years old. I’ll handle it.”

I saw Kenny a few days later but I already knew all I would ever need to know. Kenny said “I caught up to him a few hours later. He says he was looking for Chief they were camping out and playing tag. He seemed to be shocked that I had seen him. He didn’t know what to say. Then when I seen Chief he said he doesn’t know what the kid is talking about. He used to hang out with Billy but they don’t even talk to each other anymore. All I know is I never seen him hanging out with Billy and their both too old to be playing tag.” I said “well Kenny there’s a lot of things you haven’t seen, you and everybody else in this world.” He asked me again if I had seen something that night and again I told him “no.”

I told myself that it must have been one of the kids wearing a costume. That Patty was in on it with them and they all must have been pilfering Kenny’s coke all along. That would explain their strange behavior. The noises in the ceiling continued and by the time Kenny left for Florida they had spread to the rest of the house. I kept trying to set traps for Patty by getting her out of the house and telling Kenny to look here and look there. He never found anything and I never outright told him that I suspected his wife of anything. One morning right before they left I went over there with Eric’s shotgun and told her to bring the kids to her parents I was going to settle it that day. She had a screaming fit telling me “everything that is happening here is all because of you. I really don’t think you should even be around my kids. You have no idea what you are. Thank God we are moving to Florida.”

Around midnight Kenny and I took a ride to the seven eleven over on Connetquot Ave by Heckscher State Park. As we pulled back onto the side roads we saw three young girls walking and noticed one of them was Kim. I pulled up to them and Kenny said “what are you doing out this late?” She laughed at him and looked at me and said “there’s been some changes. I decided to take you up on your offer.” She showed me the back of her hand and on it was carved a bloody cross. I said “what the fuck are you talking about? I never made you any offer. This is the first time I have ever even talked to you. Are you high on something?” She laughed again and said “I drunk some wine.” Then she said “oh yes you did. And I like it.” We pulled away as she continued to laugh and I said to Kenny “what the fuck was that about?” He said “I have no idea. And as far as I know she’s not even allowed out of the house, let alone this late and this far.”

About a month or two later Kenny called me from Florida and told me to read the paper. The big story in Newsday that day was a fourteen year old boy had been arrested in East Islip and charged with over forty counts of sexual assault. Turns out innocent little Billy had been sodomizing all the other little boys and girls in the neighborhood. A neighbor had called Kenny in Florida. The neighbor had also told Kenny that the reason Chief had tried to burn Billy alive in the clubhouse was to put a stop to his reign of terror. By now I believed none of it. Plato wrote that men were hairless apes who sit frozen in place in a cave with their back to a fire and watch shadows on the wall cast by the procession of reality that pass’s between their backs and the fire. If one of the apes was ever dragged from the cave and forced to watch the spectacle from a hole in the ceiling above they could never go back to sit with the other apes and endure their bestial chatter.

Below are two links where you can purchase Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan. I would suggest you buy it in hardcopy, not because I make more, I actually make the most from Amazon E books, but because you will avoid giving Amazon any money. Frankly you should be shooting Amazon employees in the street, Google too.

Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan by Jack Heart, Hardcover | Barnes & Noble® (barnesandnoble.com)

Amazon.com: Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan: Memoir of an awakening god: 9781736288016: Heart, Jack: Books

Wheels by Mike Kay

1

He watched the lights crest the hill in his rear view mirror. Who said that mirrors lie? It was no apparition. The police cruiser pulled parallel and stopped, window to window. His left arm rested easily on the door molding, with his window all the way down he was enjoying the cool night air. He looked over casually to the cop, who had his interior light on.

“Is everything ok here?” The cop asked.

“Yeah”, he replied. “I’m just letting her cool down, then I’ll be on my way.”

The cop looked at him doubtfully.

He just grinned at the officer.

The cop knew quite well what went on out here, at night, on this desolate stretch of road. In the end, the officer had nothing to go on, so the cruiser drove away slowly, as if making a statement through a lack of speed.

An oppressive state creates a clever populace, says the Tao.

He understood the cop well enough, law and order, follow the rules more or less. It was one of a dwindling number of jobs that offered a future, unlike his …

“Why do you want to? Why do you have to? I mean, if there is a God, we’ll all find out”. Her ancestry was from Finland, and it showed in her blue blue eyes and high cheekbones.

She meant the world to him, and he wanted to tell her, to explain, to have her share in his longing. He wanted to explain the thirst to her-to really actually know. He didn’t have the words to explain those experiences, or the wisdom to tie them together. He tried to say something about the space between worlds, the place where this reality ended, and the compulsion to drive right through, but she just looked at him with a growing puzzlement, and a sadness that could have broken glass.

Hers was a belief and trust in the substance of this world. She had returned from the doorway of death brought on by Scarlet fever. The fever had left her damaged, wounded, but with a fierce desire to live here, now. She couldn’t understand anything else, to her any curiosity beyond this physical world was a waste of time. Life was better spent embracing the world with her arms. She wanted to share that with him, and that was about all that ever she did hope for.

Their eyes locked and for a moment there was no space between her femininity and his masculinity. They flowed easily together, winding in and out, a rolling current in a fresh cool stream eager to find its way down the mountain, until they reached the rapids.

“You gotta stop”, she said with so much heart that it felt like a push.” Racing isn’t the way”.

Another set of headlights broke his reverie. No cop this time, the lights were especially intense in the mirror. The car approached slowly, as if the driver had spotted him on the shoulder, yet was hesitating to drive up to him. It took a ridiculous amount of time for the new arrival to pull up beside him with the well tuned throaty mumble of a performance engine. In the drivers’ seat was Paul. He stared in anger out the passenger window where Lisa, his wife was buried in his rage. Paul now projected all of that over to him.

“So, you all alone then?” Paul stared through the dark.

“All alone as agreed, except for my co-pilot”.

Paul’s’ head jerked as he tried to stare into the passenger seat. Unable to give Paul a break, he lifted up his arm and shook a stuffed toy wolf at him, laughing.

“You always were fucking weird, man.” Paul climbed back into his seat.”I’ll see you at the strip”.

Paul’s Mustang roared and was off in a plume of exhaust fumes and burnt rubber.

He reached down and keyed the ignition. The supercharged hemi barked to life, snapping and ticking at idle due to its overcammed, over juiced tuning. The whine of the supercharger was barely audible at idle. It wasn’t even apparent, built as it was to sit underneath the shaker hood. The whole car was pretty much a sleeper, aside from the fancy Crager SS rims and the four hood pins.

The Hurst shifter fell precisely into his right hand as he slipped into first, released the clutch and drove away. In the light of his headlamps the white dashes in the center of the road blurred into a single white line. He honestly couldn’t remember what it was that made Paul turn so completely on him. All he could recall was that they were on pretty good terms, and then at one point they weren’t. It might have been that time Paul got busted for an open container of alcohol, but that was so long ago he wasn’t sure. In any case it all came down to this grudge match. They had both thrown in $500 to make it especially real, which was held by Kevin at Sadies bar and grill.

Heading to the strip, he had to admit she was right, and he needed to stop. Nobody stayed in the same place in this life for all that long, and although he was actually good-exceptional even, when it came to racing, he knew it was dangerous, illegal, and offered no future. His life was always like that, it seemed.

The street race scene was all things to all people. The dilettantes with daddy’s money could cruise around with their pretty girls mooning everyone, because they had it made. Wide eyed kids could get a load of what genuine racing machines were like. Street racing gave the cops something to do besides reducing the world’s supply of donuts. It gave young, savvy mechanics a test for their skills. It gave holier-than-thou types something to rage against. It gave girls who felt that wild streak within themselves the chance to be with the bad boys.

Then of course there were all those more serious things, lawyers making money, judges studying more law, jails justifying their budgets. Racing even threw work at the coroner.

He walked into racing the way he got into anything, by a series of events that he never intended or fully understood. Maybe it was that night he found himself at the strip after a day of too much of everything. The engines roared and the naked headers spit out nitrous boosted flames. He grinned like a fool then, something in his blood stirring.

Of course he got in at the end. Literally it was at the end. Despite society finding all forms of work and profit from racing, society was determined to give it the same fate as steam engines and slide rules. The cold tendrils of dead banality had found racing, and they were clamping down-hard.

New housing developments sprouted up like weird diseases in the forests and fields. More stoplights and more traffic and more taxes and more antennas and more TVs rotting brains and selling people a world they had no right to believe in…

“You are late! Do you know how late?” A hostile frown.

He looked into the hard, washed out eyes of the old woman. Her business suit more than hung off her frail figure. What wasn’t wizened away was her seething disapproval, and her harrumphing over his dirty hands, disheveled hair, and black t-shirt.

“I just had a death in my fam-“, he began honestly before being cut off.

“Save your sob stories” she glared at him.

It occurred to him that as usual, he didn’t really know why he was here. He already knew it was going to be a giant waste of time. She was fumbling for something, and he saw the pack of thin lady’s cigarettes, followed by a cheap lighter. “Mind if I smoke?”

“Yes’, he replied, more than a little vindictively.

The old woman looked genuinely surprised, and if possible, even more resentful towards him.

He could sense it all, a woman determined to win in a man’s world, who spent her life buddying up to the shallow business suit types she could out think without trying. She learned their jargon, and their mannerisms, and with that came the reason for the season, money money money. She traded in her femininity for the tough demeanor she believed she required to survive. She was her future now, with nothing more than gate keeping duties designed to keep the riff raff away. After an hour of pouring over his records, her analysis of his career prospects in the world of real jobs was unsurprisingly dim. He had none.

Top gear was always a balancing act. His car simply had too much power for the crude Detroit chassis, despite his improvements. It wasn’t that the car was skittish, or wandering, it was just that at top speed it was impossible to maneuver. The rear leaf springs hunched down with the posi-traction Dana axle. The front torsion bars, aided with a hefty anti-sway brace were only happy going forward. If any sudden defensive action had to be taken, it simply wouldn’t occur.

His ride was built for one thing, to get to top speed as fast as possible. He made it a personal rule to never check the rattling needle of the speedometer. The tach was all that mattered, watching the rpms curve upwards, and shifting to keep the mighty motor in the zone as the world slowed to a crawl even as it became a tunnel all around him. The sounds would fade, and it seemed that his corrections on the wheel happened in triple time. A million and one fateful things could happen in the tunnel, and if even one leaked in he was probably done.

Here, alone in the tunnel, with speed hurling him headlong into an unknown place he could almost taste the space between worlds. It was a feeling, beyond words, beyond even oblivion. He couldn’t picture it, but he could never dismiss that it was real.

Power down was always the time of abandonment, a return to earth, re-entry into standard time. It always seemed somewhat off, like it wasn’t truly solid, not exactly as it seemed, even as he bore the scars from it, the busted knuckles, the black grit in his pores.

From power down one arrived at the aftermath. This was when the talking returned, the aroma of the tunnel still strong, still singing the siren song. Slowly the banality would creep in, like the cold in a winter night. It would whisper about all the things it demanded from its slaves, and assure him that he was amongst the ranks of slaves.

The strip was several mile long arrow straight blacktop. The racing was mapped out along its length, in half mile sections in order to confuse the cops. The real course was a do-or–die quarter mile that ran some thirty feet above the surrounding fields, with no shoulder or turn off other than down below. It was no more than a mile from the primary staging area, and perhaps two miles from the T intersection at strips end. The road was easy to block off, and during major events it was tough for even competitors to get through. That was not going to be an issue tonight.

He slowed as he approached the strip, noting wryly that the authorities had preceded him. A mass of vehicles clogged the staging area, and no small number of them bore various types of flashing lights. Some cars were finding their way out of the mess, but he had no desire to run that gauntlet. Slowing to a crawl, he found what he was looking for, a little known and less used turn off that led to the slumping ruin of an old abandoned house.

He wove up the rough two-track, killed the lights, and shut the big motor down. Climbing out, it was only him under the stars. In ancient times, it is said, wise observers watched the stars. They stayed up all night, watching, and they learned the secrets of the destiny of mankind.

He played with his keys, tossing them high in the night air and letting them fall down into his scarred, dirty hands. It seemed then, that he faced a choice, and that choice was clear, open, yet with its own cost. He could leave it all, and return to his blue eyed babe. Kevin would keep his $500, Paul would call him a wuss and strut around with his ego on display…or he could wait it out and see if Paul was still around.

Laughing into the night he stretched out his arms, taking in a deep heady breath. Somehow the stars felt brighter, and he could see the cloudy trail of the Milky Way. The tyranny of standard time left him then, and there was no present, no future or past, there was only the flow, and the flow was everywhere and it was everything. He breathed and the flow passed through him. It felt like a near tickle, but with a force to it. He became that flow and for a moment or an hour or an eternity he was simply motion.

More than anyone else, it was the heir to Plato, Aristotle, who came up with a view on time that still has its hold on people today. Aristotle called his description a riddle, most likely because he couldn’t claim it was anything else. He said that the future, and the past didn’t exist, and that no one could describe the scope of the present, because in thinking about it, time became either future or past.

Looking to the stars, there was no riddle of time, there were only hungry wolves chasing one down, sometimes closer, sometimes farther, but never out of view. The grim cold terror of the wolves’ jaws clamping down upon his prey meant there was no past, and no future, and if there be a present at all it hangs upon gleaming canines hungry for dinner.

It was all just the flow, and some things surfaced and others sank but there was no stopping the immensity of it. And this immensity reached its shore line, and upon it he stood in silence, for the night was notable for what it suddenly lacked, the sound of vehicles.

There was the soft hissing of the breeze, upon which the subtle sounds of the night world drifted, but there were no vehicles.

The drive to the staging area was quiet, empty. Not a person, not one car was anywhere to be seen. He listened to the crackling idle of his motor. He was about to turn around, to leave it behind, when in the distance another car appeared moving extremely quickly. It was, he knew Paul rushing onwards to meet him. Just like earlier, the Mustang pulled up right beside him. Lisa rolled down her window and gave him her trademark toothy grin.

“Paul says he wants to beat your ass”. She was waving something in her hand, and he realized it was a ticket-or three. “The cops hit us with these, and now he’s mad”.

As if on cue, Paul stuck his head completely out the window, looking to all the world that he did indeed reach a new level of angry. “Get to the start weirdo, and I MEAN NOW!”

Start was a simple white stripe that bisected the road. It had been repainted dozens of times due to wear from the racing. Finish was an identical stripe, only in yellow, to alert the drivers to power down. Start was where all the action was. Whoever shaved the launch best had the advantage. If the cars were close in capability, the best start won, hands down.

Lisa was out on the road, standing at pole. Pole was right between the cars. She carefully coached the drivers to form up right at the plane of the white line. He really couldn’t believe she was going to flag start from this position. It was literally the most dangerous place for a non-racer to be. As she carefully untied the red scarf from around her neck, he realized she was putting herself there to force Paul and him to launch as cleanly, and as in control as possible. At that moment he found a new respect for her. Her courage was on the level.

If the start wasn’t perfect, if there was the slightest fishtail, or broken flywheel, or whatever there would be no more Lisa.

She raised her scarf over her head, fluttering in the night breeze, lit up by the glow of the headlights.

He knew exactly how to shave the launch. He knew the rpm threshold where the big paws would bite into the pavement without breaking loose. He knew exactly how much play was in the clutch pedal, and he took up the slack.

Lisa’s arm came down fast, and as the red scarf just brushed her knee he was gone. No fishtail, no parts flying. In the mirror he caught her image stand back up, the scarf still in her hand. She was watching them go, and for a moment she stood before vanishing into the night.

The roar of the motor was clean, the howl of the supercharger perfect. He knew Paul was behind, close behind him, that he had beaten Paul out of the hole. The tachometer tapped 6,5oo rpm, and he was into second gear and climbing. Still no view of Paul, although he felt the Mustang somewhere off his rear quarter panel, hungry, trying to sink its fangs into him.

The car hunkered down on her springs as the Hemi drove sheer horsepower down into the paws. Final gear was reached and he gave the wolf all of his legs to run to the end of the world and beyond. Ahead, in the tunnel, the glowing yellow line was in view.

In a flash he was past it. Having won, he felt the heavy change from fury to an incoming release he knew so well. He was waiting for it, as he eased off the throttle and the entire dynamic of the car began to change with it. He waited for the feeling to fully arrive, yet it never did.

Something had occurred which was outside of his experience. A brilliant multicolored yet overtly white light completely wiped out his vision. He could no longer feel his hands, or his feet, or his weight. He had no sense of speed, or of much of anything. Like the opening of a drain, a whirling disc of darkness appeared, at first small and then growing rapidly larger until it consumed him and all the light and erased him from existence.

As if suddenly, shockingly becoming aware he was rising from a great depth. The trauma of darkness released him, and he floated up, up, an air bubble in deep water effortlessly rising to breach the surface.

Where he stood, or actually hovered was between two great wheels, one above and one below. He had emerged from an endless darkness to be between them both. “Wow,” he suddenly thought,” the space between worlds.”

He saw her then, moving up through the fastness. He got the definite impression that this was no ordinary woman. She seemed at once to be gigantic and also of mortal stature in a way he couldn’t truly grasp. Her form was surrounded by a glowing darkness, scintillating. Her legs were long and beautiful, slightly revealed through her split side dark gown. She approached with a magnetic grace. The right side of her face was simply a black outline with her perfect white skull showing within. She waved her arm in a simple gesture and the mist of the wheels parted. He saw Lisa sobbing uncontrollably, and the smoking ruin of the Mustang, what had been Paul mangled within. It took him a moment to catch the scent, but he did know the aroma of his own car, and upon finding it he tracked it to discover the beautiful ruin. His own dead eyes stared at him, even as the great motor still ran, the mechanical spirit not going easily to the darkness. In a way he thought it was kind of a waste, but then it occurred to him that there probably was no other way it could have gone. It wasn’t like he ever spoke the language of this world.

‘You can stay here awhile, if you like, a lot of people do”. He felt the words inside him, and realized that it was Death herself speaking.

“Stay?”

“Yes”, the words were soft, magnetic, beautiful.”Some with spiritual gifts remain to act as protectors for those they love”.

He watched the wheels reform and he was longer next to himself, looking into the flow, he saw his blue eyed girl, how sad she was, for far too long, and how a simple yet strong man was turned into her stream, and how her sorrow became acceptance, and acceptance became love, and they moved together away.

“I feel so light”, he said.

“Um hum”, she replied. “Nothing is holding you down anymore”.

“So even here we choose?”

“Only some get to choose”.

He gathered himself then. “So, if I stay, will it be easier, or harder on those alive?”

She seemed to move closer. “You must decide”.

His hands opened and everything fell out of them. His expensive Snap-on sockets, his drill-and-tap set, his keys, his license, his electric bill, all the harassing letters from all the agencies, all the threatening messages, all the greedy fingers wanting to squeeze everything from him, and in the end his girl with the blue, blue eyes released her grip on his fingers, and let him go.

The darkness around beautiful death seemed to grow then, until it filled all vision, absorbing all things, all hopes and all fears and all lust and all hate. The press of nothingness came on, a cool dissolving, a falling as cool and as effortless as a great foaming wave.

Falling.

Into the flow falling.

His name was pulled from his lips, and like a fire it burned in geometric intensity before being absorbed. The very strands of his thought unraveled and became words in a language he could barely comprehend before whirling away and merging with great fountains of fire that seemingly just appeared. All that he was, from the pain of his mother who brought him forth with her joy and energy into this world to the blood running down his broken knuckles, to the final moment when his fragile form was torn asunder by speed and steel simply whirling into the great fire, feeding it wildly, almost exhaustively, before giving way to pure silence, pure space.

“You have chosen,” he felt her words, “to go onward”.

He expanded suddenly, a flash of invisible light. He was so much of everything, it could no longer be contained, a center of nothing, no identity. Into the vastness of the cosmos he had gone.

Cover Photo: Pinterest

Saturnday Coffee Thoughts…

15
Golden Torus
Golden Torus source: pinterest.com

“Somebody/Something” knows how to tune the ethereal electromagnetic waves that comprise physical reality as we measure it. Why is it that that we are seeing such an increase in “Foo Fighters” and glowing “Tic Tacs”, the orbs in the sky, sea and close to the ground making crop circles? These “objects”, in my opinion, are localized manipulations of the fabric of reality called space-time. Rabbit trail warning…we shall see what the Skinwalker Ranch team comes up with regarding the orbs and the Einstein-Rosen bridge they have supposedly determined is on the ranch. Can a controlled wormhole also provide means for projection of the etheric waves through space-time? Hmmm, why not? There are empirical studies showing faster than light electron pairing. But, can one make a bridge on demand?

Wormhole source: BBC.com

If it is all for show, a projection upon the consciousness, “who” is the Director and Producer of the program? Is it you, or me? Are we on the cusp of discovery or destruction, or both? Is there a big picture beyond our individual bubble of perception and thought? Maybe.

From Edgar Cayce to Seth Speaks “channeling” has grown to encompass an entire corner of the internet; much like the supermarket tabloids before mainstream electronics, or UFOs. So, it appears we receiving data for incorporation of “fringe” thoughts and philosophy into human consciousness. News that doesn’t fit the good/evil, Gods/Devils seems to be the order of the day.

As I develop new patterns of thought, leading to new thoughts and actions, I ask to what end is all mainstream media manipulated? Why? As with the foregoing regarding channeling and foo fighters I am left with the question to what end is disclosure (manipulation of mass consciousness)?

There are many pieces of the puzzle shared with Jack Heart every day. Those pieces are often found in the comments offering an alternative philosophy to emerge as those thoughts once offered often become reality.

These were my thoughts this morning as I was having my coffee after Jack and I discussed the latest information passed to him and after my scan of the latest comments on the Human. I post these thoughts as an opening of discussion and sharing of the intuitive knowledge which the contributors do so well in your comments and posts.

Cheers, Phil

Was Princess Diana even REAL??? Mark Attwood’s “Diary of a Conspiracy Theorist”

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The Mark Attwood Show, 9TH APRIL 2024, https://www.bitchute.com/video/h4YXoCJ3Zyqe/

Cover Photo courtesy of Pinterest

Below are two links where you can purchase Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan. I would suggest you buy it in hardcopy, not because I make more, I actually make the most from Amazon E books, but because you will avoid giving Amazon any money. Frankly you should be shooting Amazon employees in the street, Google too.

Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan by Jack Heart, Hardcover | Barnes & Noble® (barnesandnoble.com)

Amazon.com: Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan: Memoir of an awakening god: 9781736288016: Heart, Jack: Books

The Truth about Flight MH370: Decoding a Decade of Deception | Redacted with Clayton Morris

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“10 years ago… Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 disappeared from radar on 8 March 2014, while flying from Kuala Lumpur International Airport in Malaysia to its intended destination in Beijing. But It never arrived and neither did the 227 passengers and 12 crew members whose family members have been in anguish ever since. What happened to their loved ones? Who’s covering up the real story?

10 years have now passed and we finally might have some leads as to what caused this disappearance. Ashton Forbes has in many ways devoted his life to figuring out what happened here and we decided to invite Ashton on to talk about some of this new evidence. “

The Truth about Flight MH370: Decoding a Decade of Deception | Redacted with Clayton Morris (youtube.com)

Below are two links where you can purchase Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan. I would suggest you buy it in hardcopy, not because I make more, I actually make the most from Amazon E books, but because you will avoid giving Amazon any money. Frankly you should be shooting Amazon employees in the street, Google too.

Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan by Jack Heart, Hardcover | Barnes & Noble® (barnesandnoble.com)

Amazon.com: Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan: Memoir of an awakening god: 9781736288016: Heart, Jack: Books

Jack Heart’s Conversations from the porch – Episode 50

14

I’m sorry my Muslim readers, most of you know I have far more respect for Islam than I do for Christianity but the guy in the bathrobe is in on it. If he was serious, he would have used his hypersonic missiles to take out every F35 he could, then followed it up with a massive bombing campaign and a ground attack by Hezbollah. As it is he has left the Iranian people wide open for a vicious Jewish counterattack, just like his CIA handlers asked him to do.

October 7 Was an Inside Job: Sage of Quay® Dispatch: October 7 Was an Inside Job (sageofquaydispatch.blogspot.com)

Two From the Montauk Project, Courtesy of Happy Parrot: https://odysee.com/@montysthinkingoutsidethebox:2/The-Montauk-Base-Tour:1
https://odysee.com/@montysthinkingoutsidethebox:2/montauk-2-by-preston-nichols:1

Brutal Regime Apocalyptic Dreams :

“You see all these American politicians and Neoliberal PMCs pledging their undying support for Israel by tweet that get like 3,000 *Likes* and yet every comment is like “Fuck you, no we don’t” from people of all political persuasions – who are the *Likes* from? Are they even real?”

JackTheHuman:

“no”

Below are two links where you can purchase Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan. I would suggest you buy it in hardcopy, not because I make more, I actually make the most from Amazon E books, but because you will avoid giving Amazon any money. Frankly you should be shooting Amazon employees in the street, Google too.

Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan by Jack Heart, Hardcover | Barnes & Noble® (barnesandnoble.com)

Amazon.com: Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan: Memoir of an awakening god: 9781736288016: Heart, Jack: Books

France VII, in the Footsteps of Otto Rahn by Jack Heart

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Any attempts to explain away the Mexican Nazi coin that do not include an explanation of the Mexican frieze below the monument at Koblenz should be dismissed off hand as the blithering of an idiot. Likewise for those who ignore the fact that a picture of Otto Rahn, the father of the SS, adorns the cover of the 1936 book, Invisible Radiations of Organisms, supposedly written by a German professor out of Cornell University of the same name but published in Berlin… ThriftBooks a large web-based used bookseller headquartered near Seattle is selling the book “republished,” with a revised cover of course. Their overview states, “This work has been selected by scholars as being culturally important and is part of the knowledge base of civilization as we know it. This work is in the public domain in the United States of America, and possibly other nations. Within the United States, you may freely copy and distribute this work, as no entity (individual or corporate) has a copyright on the body of the work. Scholars believe, and we concur, that this work is important enough to be preserved, reproduced, and made generally available to the public…” What they changed is the […]

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Jack Heart’s Conversations from the porch – Episode 49

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Aleister Crowley, Loki’s Brood & the Fury of Hell I by Jack Heart & Orage

“The chains pulled taut around the casts and jerked me back down into the hospital bed as if I had been levitating in my sleep. I was drenched in sweat and for a moment I did not know who or where I was. The combined restraints of my injuries and the manacles had frozen my body to the bed and I felt a claustrophobic panic beginning to overwhelm me. I forced myself to concentrate and evaluate my situation. My memories suddenly came flooding back as if some great spigot had opened up a subterranean torrent of strange images and swirling sorrow.

I had been dreaming. I was in Aleister Crowley’s Boleskine House overlooking Loch Ness. There was a cavernous opening in a wall. It looked like some kind of vault. Within the vault was a gateway which was guarded by a male and a female child. The children were about twelve years old and of oriental descent. They were both wearing flowing silk robes and they did not speak but somehow I knew that Crowley had used them to carry out the instructions given in S.L. MacGregor Mather’s translation of The Sacred Magic of Abramelin the Mage.

Crowley had secured the house by the lake and undergone all the purification rituals prescribed in the manuscript. At the moment when the ritual is supposed to culminate with the appearance of an Angel who will transmit, through a prepubescent child, the sublime revelations that can transform a man into a God Crowley added his own little twist to the ritual. He slit the throat of each of the children and opted to forgo the ungainly intermediary’s in favor of the knowledge being delivered directly to him.

The children now stood as eternal sentinels to the portal he had opened up. They gestured for me to enter and when I did I saw that Crowley had unleashed three great demons into the world. Two of the dark Gods had already insinuated themselves into the collective soul of the human race but the third still lurked on the bottom of the lake. I saw them in their unimaginable vastness and all of the corruption they had brought upon the earth, now reeking with filth.

Suddenly I realized they were aware of my presence as was the one that was dormant on the bottom of the lake. The one on the bottom of the lake was the most powerful and maybe because I could not see it the most sinister. It rose up to meet me and I was griped with fear. I took flight over an endless roiling sea hurtling faster and faster through the grey and angry sky. The terror at my heels took the form of construction dumpsters and I could hear them clanging together as they pursued me. I flew faster and faster till my momentum hurled me across the dreams event horizon and I crashed down into the hospital bed…” – Jack Heart, Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan

It was just a dream, or was it? I know more about Aleister Crowley than any human being will ever live to know. I have been taught all his most secret traditions but the very first thing I was taught is never, never ever, read anything about Crowley that was not written by either himself or Israel Regardie, one of the few men Crowley ever let get to really know him.

Even with all that he wrote and he was a prodigious writer, Crowley has been quoted out of context more often than not. He was the ultimate narcissist and with better reasons than any mere king or queen. Crowley frequently took multiple paragraphs just to say good morning, spraying sentences like a Vickers Machine Gun belching out bullets in WW I, of which he was the primary instigator. There is basically nothing Crowley didn’t say at one time or another…

By the end of March 1933 with the passage of the Enabling Act the National Socialists had attained absolute power in Germany and by June of that year, Crowley could no longer contain his enthusiasm. In the first of a three-part series of articles for the London Sunday Dispatch Crowley gloats; “At birth I had three of the distinguishing marks of a Buddha. I was tongue-tied, I had a characteristic membrane which necessitated an operation, and over the centre of my heart I had four hairs curling from left to right in the exact form of a Swastika. Before Hitler was, I am.” (1) The I Am part means he is not just the power behind National Socialism he is its God…

To the fishmongers in the marketplace and barely literate factory workers reading the Dispatch, this may have sounded like idle boasting but to the kings and queens of the earth also reading, those that rule from behind the West’s democratic façade from high atop the pinnacle of synarchy, it sounded like a fact. It had always been their greatest fear, the sum of all fear; Crowley was going rogue and he was taking the German people with him.

Although he’d been telling the scions of synarchy, those that knew he could perform any of the miracles attributed to Jesus and so many more, that he was here to usher in a New Aeon; Crowley had but one categorical imperative and that was to kill God. Toward that end he would stop at nothing; which he spells out for the dense with his occult name; Frater Perdurabo, meaning inLatin: “I Will endure to the end…”

Crowley had been born to kill God and if I engaged in conjecture, I would say Friedrich Nietzsche wrote The Anti Christ as a Bar Mitzvah present to him. Crowley was turning thirteen when Nietzsche penned it. Although he had memorized the bible by the time he was seven years old Crowley rejected his rigid Plymouth Brethren upbringing almost from birth. He knew he was the Beast of Revelations the first time he ever heard of it. Famed mountaineer, chess master and saint of the Gnostic Church Crowley was a self-described dope fiend and had an intellect that could rival even Nietzsche. He set about the task at hand with an inhuman single-mindedness of purpose.

To Read the Rest: Aleister Crowley, Loki’s Brood & the Fury of Hell I by Jack Heart & Orage – The Human: Jack Heart, Orage and Friends (jackheartblog.org)

Aleister Crowley, Loki’s Brood & the Fury of Hell… II by Jack Heart & Orage

By the end of WWI, William Butler Yeats knew exactly what was coming. The most famous poem in the Michael Robartes and the Dancer collection is “The Second Coming.” Yeats begins it: 

“TURNING and turning in the widening gyre  

The falcon cannot hear the falconer;  

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.”(13)

The Egyptian hieroglyph for Horus is the falcon. In the aftermath of WWI’s carnage, Yeats sees clearly that nothing can control the God of War and Vengeance: “The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere / The ceremony of innocence is drowned.” In the poem’s last line, Yeats asks “And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, slouches toward Bethlehem to be born?”(14) Yet he has already described the Beast with all the skill that his prodigious talent as a poet would allow: 

“A shape with lion body and the head of a man, 

A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun. 

Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it  

Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds.  

The darkness drops again but now I know  

That twenty centuries of stony sleep  

Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle.” (15)

Yeats had been vacillating ever since 1913, when he had slain Michael Robartes in a short story titled “Rosa Alchemica.” Right before the turn of the century in The Wind Among the Reeds, Yeats had said of his muse: “Michael Robartes is the pride of the imagination brooding upon the greatness of its possessions, or the adoration of the Magi.” (16)

But by 1913, it was entirely different. Michael Robartes had now metastasized into one of the Golden Dawn’s infamous “hidden masters,” the supernatural beings whose disputed existence and direction caused a schism within the group that was settled by Aleister Crowley’s pistol. 

In the story, Robartes appears at his door after a fifteen-year hiatus and forces Yeats with mind-bending incenses to accompany him to a temple by the seaside, where they are besieged by an irate Christian mob. During the night, Yeats participates in a ceremony with a cult similar to the Golden Dawn. When he awakens in the morning, he finds that the ornate temple has now become an old barn, and he is unable to rouse Robartes and the rest of the cult who are in a trance-like sleep. As Yeats flees, Robartes and the cult are stoned to death by an enraged Christian mob.

Yeats then waxes poetic as he delivers Robartes’ eulogy, which is a reflection of his own faltering courage. Yeats renounces the deception of “Legion,” like a little Catholic boy renouncing the Devil, wrapped in the imaginary protection of his rosary beads. Yeats’ insecurities didn’t last long, though.  By 1916, his guilt for what they had done combined with his grandiose opinion of himself had convinced him that he was the incarnated Sun God and could pull off the Great Work by himself.

The first two poems in Michael Robartes and the Dancer are about Yeats’ own love life. In the first poem, the title poem, Yeats refers to himself as a “half-dead dragon” in the eyes of the much younger Iseult Gonne, whom it seems Yeats believed to be the incarnated soul of the moon. Iseult was herself of magical birth, being conceived in an act of sexual Magick, as the aristocracy has been practicing for thousands and thousands of years. She was among the kings and queens of Europe a legendary beauty and the daughter of their own residing wild woman Maud Gonne.

In his desperation, Yeats allowed himself to become convinced that he could perform the Great Work without the necessary pain, bloodletting, and details that his nemesis Crowley and his followers were apparently reveling in by 1916. Crowley says of himself in the author’s note of Moonchild that by 1917, he was exerting his best “efforts to bring America into the war.” To Crowley and his aristocratic followers, WWI was not a struggle between nations but a Holocaust, a blood sacrifice, burnt offerings to bring about the incarnation of Horus and the killing of the old grey world and its tyrannical God.

Undaunted, our rejected self-appointed Sun God next proposed to Maud Gonne whom he believed to be the rest of the Pagan female pantheon. Rejected again, our intrepid Sun God married his fellow Golden Dawn initiate, twenty-four-year-old Georgie Hyde-Lees, the witch of “Solomon and the Witch,” the second poem of the Robartes collection.

The proposals all took place in 1916, a year in which Yeats was obviously desperate to marry. The year 1916 appears in another verse of the collected works. “Easter, 1916” is a poem first published back in 1916. On the surface, it appears to be about Irish nationalism, but contains the line “When sleep at last has come on limbs that had run wild,” a sentence that could be interpreted pornographically. Easter is also the day of resurrection in Yeats’ Christian security blanket. Regardless of the ambiguity of “Easter, 1916,” Yeats’ meaning in “Solomon and the Witch” –the second poem of Michael Robartes and the Dancer– is perfectly clear.

To Read the Rest: Aleister Crowley, Loki’s Brood & the Fury of Hell… II by Jack Heart & Orage – The Human: Jack Heart, Orage and Friends (jackheartblog.org)

Europe: les soldats et les jeunes fuient les armées

Les populations issues de l’immigration ne sont pas intéressées par l’uniforme militaire pour mener les guerres de l’Occident, ni les autres jeunes de ces pays. La plupart des migrants soutiennent la Russie. Les appels lancés par les dirigeants de l’OTAN pour recruter des soldats dans une croisade contre   la Russie sont boudés par les recrues qui ont commencé à fuir. 

L’armée française est face à des départs volontaires et à un manque de recrutement. Le ministre français des Armées, Sébastien Lecornu, a dévoilé son plan pour mettre fin à l’augmentation des départs dans l’armée française. «Il ne s’agit plus tant de recruter de nouveaux soldats que de persuader les troupes existantes de ne pas démissionner», stipule Politico.  «Ces conversations existent désormais dans toutes les capitales, dans toutes les démocraties qui disposent d’armées professionnelles sans conscription», souligne le média anglophone. Les armées occidentales ne peuvent plus recruter et manque de soldats.
 
Même l’Allemagne est touchée. Un récent rapport annuel soumis au Parlement allemand a montré qu’en 2023, quelque 1.537 soldats ont quitté la Bundeswehr, la réduisant à 181.514 effectifs. Les Européens ne veulent pas mourir pour une guerre voulue par leurs élites. Cela traduit la résistance des populations en Europe contre la guerre de l’UE contre la Russie. 

To Read the Rest and Translate into your own langauge: Europe: les soldats et les jeunes fuient les armées. Observateur Continental

Below are two links where you can purchase Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan. I would suggest you buy it in hardcopy, not because I make more, I actually make the most from Amazon E books, but because you will avoid giving Amazon any money. Frankly you should be shooting Amazon employees in the street, Google too.

Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan by Jack Heart, Hardcover | Barnes & Noble® (barnesandnoble.com)

Amazon.com: Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan: Memoir of an awakening god: 9781736288016: Heart, Jack: Books

Revenant Ash by Mike Kay

33

The power was out. In the darkness the street seemed to glow ever so slightly in contrast to the buildings. Above me thick clouds barred any heavenly illumination. I watched as the darkness became a safe zone for humanity. With nothing observable beyond touch, the wafting of the voice, with no schedule set to satisfy the endless demands of society, with nothing for the grasping ego to attach to, all that was left was the murmur seeking connection.

I was here, alone with the darkness when she found me. A lone car made its way down the road, and in that moment when the headlights touched me I ceased being the darkness and became a man once more. She must have seen me then, her desire for interaction driving her to the next event in her life. The car passed slowly, and on she came, her feet making quick sounds across the pavement. The flame of her lighter suddenly revealed her face, no longer young, and her brown eyes reflected that flame, searching.

In that moment of the flame she had convinced herself that I was real. Her lighter extinguished and she moved closer, the afterglow somehow intensifying the darkness, the exhausting press of identity. “Quite a night”, she began.

She had thrown those words out casually, yet so much was riding on them. Suddenly my heart sank, and was crushed by a powerful sense of loss. I felt, in that simple, world weary phrase the defiance and resignation of one who never won at life. I understood her then, her desperation, and I knew in a moment where it would lead. She spoke in a slight Spanish accent, where the vowels are extended.

“I don’t mind it”, came my reply.” It’s very much like a dream”.

The lighter ignited once more as she lit her cigarette. “Do you smoke?”

“No,” I replied matter of factly.”I already have too many addictions.”

She laughed then, a sort of hoarse and low sound of genuine humor. Her dark eyes always seemed to catch a reflection of the flame, as if they hungered for something within it.

“I’m like that”, she admitted with a long exhalation of smoke.

She began her story then. It was a familiar story of being lost, of sleeping on hard concrete never knowing tomorrow. It was a story of hunger and desire and the cost of failure, of being held captive by forces too strong to resist. Her words filled the darkness with longing for what could not be given a price, after she had sold everything, even that which wasn’t hers. She spoke of a dream she had, or a vision, one night in a strange decrepit hotel room with the traffic roaring outside. Perhaps I should have shared with her my vision of the flaming rafters, that I knew when the US government burnt my home to ash, and that there is in this life the sting of death, and something in me died then. Yet these words would have somehow trivialized her story, so instead I only listened.

I understood her, when she said in so many words how she missed her previous life, but cruel fate had locked her into this unhappy place. She knew where she belonged, but was barred from ever returning.

Then I finally did speak up, and I told her that this place isn’t home, that I have memories of a world where the snow glows white as if ignited with rainbows, and the blue of the sky is no blue that anyone in this concrete palace has ever beheld with their own eyes.

She turned to me fully then, and in the light of her glowing cigarette made a quick gesture so that it streaked across my vision, leaving a trail. She seemed to be looking at me, as if to judge what to say next.

“Are you cold?”

“I am the cold”.

She told me then of all her missteps, of the grip heroin had upon her, of the lives she saw snuffed out that could never be retrieved, and that she was one. She whispered hoarsely of the lump of stuff she could hold in her fingers that had so much power over her, over everyone who fell. She spoke of that perfect high that changed the earth and sky, and her desperate love for that state. She spoke of her fear of the cops, and how she was under a spell. Then she told me of things I could never repeat, for it wasn’t about what she had done, but how something within her had vanished, and she wondered if she ever had it at all. With each sentence the desolation of her heart grew and grew. I was so close to her agony that it burned like a storm, and I saw then the terrible truth of replacing one’s soul for the torment of the high, and the addiction became its own blazing path. I was consumed by a terror of that ruin and cast into a shadow where hope was not even an idea. And when she finished her story and vanished into the dark that devoured her, a lingering odor of cigarette smoke and collapse, I was grateful to be free of the downward racing destiny so eager to plumb the depths of oblivion.

She has hid

Herself so far away.

Because of pain

And the escape.

She don’t know

What to do about it

She only hears

The whisper of a promise.

And the voices sing

Oooooohoooohh

And the voices sing

Oooooohooooohh

And she walks away.

I thought then, for a very long time, grateful for the clouds and the failed electricity that only further embraced the dark, a darkness that made it possible to feel that loss of the familiar yet wordless self, the loss of that directive energy, that wordless self all the abrahamics condemn.

It is probably very few who know that ‘Demon’ is derived from the classical Greek Daemon, a word perhaps best understood as genius, and that in the abrahamic mind all aspects of the self not suitable to their control were to be sacrificed on the altar of political power. Few understand today that who they are includes an essence beyond the physical, even as words fail to express this directly. The raw desire of the urge to step beyond, the ecstasy of escape is that base self crying out for the transcendence and participation with the forgotten genius, the divine love of the Daemon.

Modern man lives as much as he can in an embodied state. From a young age, the self is reinforced as a fact of physical existence. The open, dreaming child mind is imprinted through barely conscious methods to develop identification with the physical form as the establishment of boundaries of existence. Yet this developing self is not truly located anywhere. Modern thought establishes the brain as seat of self, a sort of default position, yet the best behavioral psychologists cannot find a biological basis to this assumption.

The tyranny of embodiment must reduce the person to a simple core, and indeed it does. The error here is the assumption that this reduction is complete. The severing of the non-physical self is a recurrent theme produced by those who see themselves at the top, with the latest example produced by the World Economic Forum, the W.E.F., all the billionaires, and dead empty black holes who see themselves as the irreplaceable ones.

The W. E. F. defines you in viciously denigrating terms. It claims that you are simply a series of electrical impulses, that your agency is an illusion, and they, your new masters have a plan for you; The mind, the self become words of no real meaning, no substance to the very idea that a self appointed group of power hungry psychopaths has some right or some authority to assert their control. They are actually quite funny to watch, their assumed sense of superiority becomes a kind of cosmic joke.

And she walks away.

Yet we can understand that the subtle communication of dreams exists, that destiny is an odd fact of life, that paranormal experience has long been proven to be a genuine phenomenon. We have for too long now been at the mercy of the merciless, those whose lust for power is so consuming that they will use any means available to secure it, and one of the primary methods for securing power over others is to steal their genuine heritage, and deliver to their victims a vision of the self that is without potential, without dignity, without grace.

The way of understanding the self must be based upon truth and reality to escape from the clutches of those shuffling dead who want you dead too, and deliver back to mankind the birthright of who they are.

In times of yore it was understood that the self was fashioned from diverse source and that the You, the I, are only centers that we learn to work from, the fire of personality that develops with the melding of the cosmic self.  For those with the sight have always beheld inexplicable things, the many colours that dance and radiate around the human form, and that the ladder of wheels always bespoke of something beyond simple comprehension. We are not one wheel, and we are not one body, and we are not one energy.

Now that we are here, arrived at the moment of change where the ways of the world are about to end, some violently, some with great upheaval, and the mourning for what was will include the loss of hope for what could have been, now is the time where it would be well to remember the essential explanation for who we are.

The first and most common aspect of self is that which dominates the daily life of the adult person. We will call this our near self, because always it is nearest as we make our way through our day. It is here, in the near self that we erroneously think “we” reside, that true “us” that thinks the familiar thoughts and feels the familiar emotions, the “us” that likes hot dogs, and movies, and tries to make sense of its journey through this life. Modern man lives as much as possible in the arms of the near self, but even so everyone secretly realizes that the near self floats restlessly upon a far larger, and far less understood second aspect of the self, which we will call the deep self.

The deep self is the unknown origin for the forces the near self constructs into a working personality. Yes, we are all miracles. The deep self holds the darkest, unrealized terrors and the strongest, insatiable desires. The deep self has no need for time, and so refuses to be limited by it. The deep self can talk to the dead, which the near self can never do. It knows things simply by contacting them. It doesn’t particularly care for standard explanations of why things work, it has its own explanations, and knows what they do. The deep self has no boundaries, as they are understood. It knows no morality, and it is consumed by the fire of transcendence.

Near self and deep self make up an essential duality. If the near self is the angel upon one shoulder, then the deep self is the devil on the opposite. The abrahamics divided this essential duality into two externalized entities, setting forth for thousands of years a way of thought and belief that ensured a civil war within the self, a war which splits the heart mind, and ails the self. The Fisher King suffers a great wound, and the salve will only partially make his life livable.

Modern psychology has only further enshrined this war, creating a set of expectations and beliefs that directly echoe abrahamic thought. There is no real healing in psychology, no dignity or honour or spirituality. Modern psychologists oversee torture, and create television commercials. Freud turned to Jung as their ship steamed to harbor in New York, and told his protégé that America believed he was bringing to them a great gift, while in truth it was a great plague.

If we are honest, we know that the deep self is the true power of the person. The motivations that move the person all derive from the deep self. Likes and dislikes, attractions and aversions, bent of character, and the residue of previous incarnations all are alive and active within the deep self. It is from here that the near self emerges to take the helm, and protect the person throughout their life journey.

Thus the deep self is the first person, and if life is kind, the near self arises as the second person from the timeless ocean of the deep self to attain a working rationality, a linear concept of a world of things and essential facts of life, but what of the third facet of the self? What of that aspect that modern life ignores, or even completely denies, that incorporeal ethereal self that is so easily lost, our elder brother?

She has hid

From herself far away.

And so she runs

To the needle every day.

It’s an empty thing

When she feels about it.

It makes her hate

The world she’s living in.

But she don’t know

What to do about it.

She thinks she lost

Something precious

She once knew.

She wants it back.

So she keeps fighting through

All the pain.

And the voices sing

Oooooohooooohh

And the voices sing

Oooooohoooohh

And she listens well.

Elder brother hovers over who we believe we are. It’s a strange kind of thing, to be aware during the day. Is he above the Sun? Is he below the clouds? You cannot see him, with your physical eyes, it’s only the heart, who knows where he lies.

We are told by the Christians who hated him that Basillides wrote of this mystery of the self. He told those who would listen that the near self could never leave its world. It could never reach above to the greater mystery of who we are, only entertain that it might be possible. He instructed that the longing the near self shaped into a recognizable image was the essence of the deep self all along. Thus it is, that only the current far below can reach up to know the Daemon, Elder Brother.

Well, one says, if this is so natural, then why is it so hidden? Why is it so easily lost? Why are we told that it’s only a dream, and we need to get real in the concrete palace? I want to know!

When we came here, from the darkness so far away, and our real parents wished us well on our way. We just didn’t know what we were getting into, and in this world we forgot ourselves through and through. The burning tears, reminded us that we knew it, but we just can’t grasp that spirit in our hands.

We need a new way, which is the old way.

The stain of incarnation, that split of everything into so many parts, is not due to itself a source of shame. Our failures are not because we lived a certain way. Mistakes we made, are not counted on our clothes. We were meant to fall, and to get up every time. The wounds we bear, we won’t ever get around them. It’s just enough to know through and through that the current runs deep, no matter what we do.

No matter what we do.

The ancient Gnostics knew no sin. The Cathari men delighted in the Cathari women who delighted in them. The bright eyed children were simply loved through and through. There was no sin.

In a world where the true wealth was in high places there were no items of value to steal. There was no sin. The books they wrote, were all burned to finest ash. The deaths they rode, are marked by disdain to this very day. Yet it was not them, who forgot the Elder Brother. It was not they who forgot him.

The deepest current, through longing flows up and away. It touches the wheel of the heart, which shines in every way. The path is clear, when there ain’t no doubt about it. The joining with him, releases the finest dew. The dew is light, falling upon your very aura, and you become complete. You are now the Tree.

She just fell in love

With something she always knew.

Her shame she left

Behind her in the dew.

She knew herself.

There was no doubt about it.

She walked the earth

Her feet were bare and brand new.

And the voices sang

Oooooohooooohh

And the voices sang

Oooooohoooohh

And she went with them.

Postscript;

The three part person is a very old realization. Some say it is woven from our own Wheels of Light. You can see them yourself sometimes, like pools of essential life, focused at the hips, the heart, the head, and least known, above us. It helps if one wishes to see them to rest in the darkness, and to never use the physical eyes.

This modern world, and those who think they run it, is going through a huge transformation right now. The lever pullers want you to think it is they who are calling the shots, and it is they who are making the change. Do not be fooled by their deception. They are desperately trying to ride the wave to cling to what they have, and doing so through taking everything away from you.

So they want to take from you your knowledge of yourself, which is so beautiful that they must make it ugly. Yet you can see the beauty in this life, and the wonder of existence if you stop for a moment and just live.

Happy Ishtar

12

The Believer, the full movie with special thanks to Happy Parrot for bringing it to us.

28

If you are watching crocuses in Moscow or Americas infrastructure crumble into Chesapeake Bay, please continue but don’t do it here. This is where I bring the Mandala effect home to you and if you feel there is anything in the world of greater consequence, not only to you but to your soul then you in all likelihood no longer possess a soul. The Deagel Report has already come to pass, and western man, what’s left of him, lives in the world of the walking dead.

This movie: The Believer I’ve never heard of but one of my subscribers suggested in the comment section of France VI on Substack that I watch it, even offered to send me the DVD, which I see in the YouTube comment section was going for a hundred dollars before suddenly being available for free in of all places JewTube. That’s exactly where it should be, this is a movie, by Jews and for Jews about neo-Nazis and Jewish self-loathing. For once the Jew doesn’t place the blame for anti Semitism on White supremacism but he puts it where it belongs, squarely on his own narrow shoulders.

I once had a friend, very high up on the Illuminati pyramid of power, in fact you could say he is the pyramidon. He told me, “We blame everything on the Jews it’s in their contract they wouldn’t have it any other way.” The movie does a nice job of pointing out why such a fact is a fact, but I don’t want to play spoiler. Rarely does a movie come out worth watching so please enjoy it but I will say this, its protagonist has little to do with Otto Rahn.

Rahn was pointing the accusing finger at the Christians, for defiling their own God in the name of an alien religion. As he says over and over again in Lucifers Court, “a great wrong has been done to Lucifer.” And it was not this small minority of scheming misbegotten people dedicated to the tyrannical god of darkness since the very beginning who perpetrated that wrong. Its every man and woman who ever got on their knees and prayed to an impotent Jew nailed to a stick while spewing blaspheme against the God of Light. It is them the SS, Rahn and yes Lucifer too have put in this simulation to suffer the consequences…

Below are two links where you can purchase Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan. I would suggest you buy it in hardcopy, not because I make more, I actually make the most from Amazon E books, but because you will avoid giving Amazon any money. Frankly you should be shooting Amazon employees in the street, Google too.

Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan by Jack Heart, Hardcover | Barnes & Noble® (barnesandnoble.com)

Amazon.com: Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan: Memoir of an awakening god: 9781736288016: Heart, Jack: Books